14 Years [GNR/Mötley Crüe]

25. The Flame

Nadia:

I haven't seen her in four years, she looked exactly like I last remembered her. She saw me; her lips crept into a small smile. No no no..... I can't do this.

As a natural reaction, I quickly turned around and ran out of the diner, ignoring William who was now calling my name out.

I was barely a few steps away from the entrance of the diner as I felt his hands grip my shoulder and turn me around to face him.

"No! No! I don't want to meet her. I don't want to see her, I want to go home." I tried explaining as I felt my chest tighten.

"Why? What happened? Look, I don't know what is the exact issue between the two of you. But she wants to meet you, she misses you, she wants to have a normal relationship with you." He tried explaining.

He doesn't understand. No one does. She misses me? That's bullshit because if she did it wouldn't take her this long to come to see me. Why was he even involving himself in this??

"No, she doesn't. You don't know her, okay?" I said freeing myself from his grip roughly. I was able to clearly feel my heartbeat against my chest. I don't want to talk about this, I just want to go home, tears were starting to sting my eyes. I can't cry, I can't let her see me cry.

"Okay, I agree I don't know her, but there is no harm in just talking to her, just give it a shot if you don't feel like it, we will leave. Please?" He pleaded, slowly taking my hands in his. FINE.

If I would run away she would realize the impact she has on me, I can't give her that satisfaction, she should think that she doesn't matter to me.

Holding onto his hand as tight as I could, I walked back into the diner with him. She was sitting exactly where she was earlier, she smiled at me which I didn't reciprocate. We walked towards the table she sat in and took the seat facing her. She was sitting just inches away from me across the table. Neither of us spoke a word. I continued to look down at my hands which were resting on my lap.

"I will go and get something for us to eat. You guys catch up." Said William before quickly getting up and leaving us alone.

"How's school?" She asked nervously

"Great," I replied, I watched as the nails of my right hand were digging deep into the forearm of my left hand, the pain was good, it helped keep my head clear.

"I missed you." She gave a faint smile.

I missed you too, I wanted you, but you were never there for me. You walked out of my life that night after getting into a fight with dad, you didn't even bother taking me with you, I stood there crying as you walked out through that door, without even sparing me a glance. But I still hoped you would come back, that you would take me with you, that you can't live without me just like I couldn't without you, but you never did, you never came back to take me with you, but I continued to hope every day, thinking my mom would come, that she loves me and that she can't stay away from me. That was the innocence of the child in me, the innocence of thinking your mother was your supreme protector who would always be by your side, and you abused that innocence.

I remained silent. I don't want to talk to her. I have nothing to say to her.

"What did I do wrong? Can't you just move past everything that had happened? Can't we start fresh?" She pleaded

"What's today's date?" I asked suddenly while she stared at me in confusion.

She doesn't even remember that today's my birthday. She can forget what she told me, but I can't. She can say that she never meant those words, but to me it did, it broke me into a million pieces when my own mother told me her life would have been so much better if I wasn't in it. It's not a stranger's words that I can forget by the next day, it was the words of my own mother.