Dream a Little Dream of Me

Chapter 18: In darkness, you find me just in time

|tw: mentions of abuse, panic attack|

"Hey, I'm just gonna grab the groceries, and I'll be back to check on you afterward okay, I'll be back in no more than an hour," Ellie said, grabbing her keys. "Baby, you sure you don't want to come with me?"

I cringed. I hated the name baby. "Yup. I'll be okay. I'm still not feeling great."

"Okay, I love you, babe. I'll see you soon." She said leaving.

I gasped a sigh of relief. I hated every second of this. Why was I still here? I could just crash somewhere else. Why was I here? Why did I have to spend every second I had listening to Ellie. Why did I ever listen to her? This was just- I was just so done. Two weeks was so long, and Ellie was under the impression that it would never end. Why couldn't I just leave? As I thought about it the loud crash of the plates rang in my ears and my hand flared up in pain. That was why. That was why I hadn't left yet. I was terrified. Terrified of what she could do. What would happen to me? To Clay? I just wasn't ready to risk it. But I was just so alone. I couldn't be alone anymore.

The familiar buzzing sound came from the upper cabinet in the kitchen. I ran over and climbed up onto the counter and grabbed my phone. It was Fen. I picked up the call.

"Y/N? Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me, god Fen I miss you so much."

"I miss you too. I'm so glad you finally picked up. I'm so sick of this stupid coffee shop without you in it." they paused. "Are you okay? You quit pretty out of the blue and Clay came by looking for you a couple of times. I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Do you want me to be honest?"

"Of course I want you to be honest? Why wouldn't you want to be honest? Is it really that bad?"

"Yeah."

"Can you just tell me what's going on, I can try to help you."

"Fen, I don't think I can get myself out of this one. There's no one who can really help me."

"Ellie can help you right? She's your best friend."

"She's the problem."

"What?"

I proceeded to explain the entire situation to Fen. It felt so good to finally talk to someone about it, and they were so concerned. "Fen It's not like I have anywhere to go. I want to get out but I can't. You live in a dorm, I cut out Clay and the boys, and everyone else important in my life is back home, and she knows all of them. She'd be able to find me."

"Y/N, what she's doing to you isn't okay, you need to get out of there. Just call Clay if you just explain to him, I'm sure he'll understand."

"Fen, I broke his heart. There's no way he'd let me sleep at his house. I doubt he'd even pick up." The door was unlocking. "Shit fen she's coming home, I got to go. Bye."

"Babe I'm home," Ellie said, "I bought all the stuff for your favorite meal, I feel really bad about breaking that plate yesterday, I know you hurt your hand, so I also bought you a bunch of nail polish so your hands can be pretty, my love."

"Thanks."

"Just thanks, oh come on, give me a kiss." I gave her a kiss on the cheek. She turned her head abruptly and her lips were on mine. It was a hard forced kiss. "Oh come on now, you have to give me a kiss, I just bought you all this stuff."

"I'm just not feeling well, and I don't want to make you sick."

"Okay." She said placing the grocery bags on the counter in front of me. "I'm gonna take a shower, can you unload these groceries?"