You mentioned bingo a lot, it's best to not be repetive. "They know nothing" Instead of "They no nothing."You can say " that weren't filled with peace and love."
Chapter 2:
It's better to just say breakfast."Shatner got out of bed that morning feeling happy, since his star trek rose to fame."
Even though you mentioned bingo a lot, yo never described their reactions when, they did win. Did a fight break out? Is someone accused of cheating?
Chapter 8:
How did he know, the object, he was hit with, if he had a sack over his face? It's not really realistic, most children books aren't that heavy. If someone gets hit in the head with a book, they might have a bruise, but it's not strong enough to knock them out. Maybe you can say "Someone put a cloth to his nose, he breathed it in, and he was out in a matter of seconds. He didn't get to see the face of his kidnapper."
Hoes isn't the right word to describe his feelings. You can say " lovers" instead.
Note: I only list the chapters that contain errors, I did read your whole book. Even though your book had some errors, I'm hope you will use my adviceI love that your book, has a light, and overall fun tone.
