This is just my opinion feel free to pick and choose whay you change. I read chapter 1-8.
It is quite a wonderful story, but there are many ways to make it better. My advise is to go through and edit it all based on the info below, then repost it with everything fixed.
The cover doesn't relate to the story from what I read. Maybe have lilies, because of her mom? The tittle is very fitting and I quite like it. The summary is nice, but long. Can you condense some of the paragraphs? When I read the summary, I don't want it read it at all.
The grammar was low for many reasons. The first is that most sentences started with a.lowercase letter. This was quite annoying to read after a while and started to get on my nerves. Secondly was just some silly grammar mistakes, like forgetting to add a period instead of a comma. Finally there were just some silly spelling mistakes or you forgot a word.
The detail was good, but tastes the end of paragraphs you would start to slack off and the detail would go away. The flow was nice, the only thing is that the writing was sophisticated, and then so the main character would have a thought and it would be written immature.
The plot was also good. There was only a few mistakes. The first was the brother. It was never explains how or why he was sick or not. Can we get a little more detail on that? Also we never found out what happened with her mother.
