Please remember that this is just my opinion. You don't need to change anything if you don't want to.
So to review, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. The book has many grammar and spelling mistakes and also I couldnt understand anything. I suggest you to unpublish(?) the book, fix the writing from the start and publish it again. You can check out some other books to see the way they wrote (especially the dialogue parts because since you wrote them side to side, it was very hard to understand who said what).
