Remember, these are my opinions, and I have no personal vendetta or ill-will towards the author or their work. Also, unless I fully convince you - the author - that my suggestions are good suggestions, or others suggest the same or similar variations, I don't recommend editing or revising your story.
Chapter 1:
You have a lot of things going for you in this first chapter, but I felt like your writing edged closer to telling rather than showing in the first part of the chapter. One way to reverse this is to relay all the information into meticulous dialogue or body language. Show Tideus's reluctance to interact with Rachel and Breanne. Show her brushing her stark white hair out of her face. Show her acting like a Tomboy - which you did in the second half of the chapter. Other than that, you have a nice start going! :) I loved the way you portrayed the children. They felt and acted like five-year-olds.
Chapter 2:
To me, Tideus grasped what happened to her adoptive parents a little too quickly for a five-year-old. A five-year-old may not understand the concept of death and may need it explained to them that their parents won't be around anymore. You can also take advantage of the five stages of grief and have her go through those emotions. It'll help the reader get to know her character by showing which emotion she lingers on the most.
Overall:
I think you have a solid start. There were a few things here and there that can be improved, but overall, it's great. You set up Tideus's character and backstory through events and internal dialogue in a way that was interesting and realistic. Great Job! :)
