Y/n Stark

Drunk actions

Y/n POV
*A week has passed since my arrival*
I started to settle in again but I still don't feel at ease with myself. The guilt is still eating me up and it shows. I am not focused. I am tense all the time and my mood is swinging like a roller coaster. I was eating breakfast in silence what wasn't me at all. I was lost in my thoughts of how I can fix the situation between me and Nat. I just want everything to go back to normal. „Y/n? Hey Y/n Are you There?" Steve asked me concerned. „Hmm yeah everything fine."
I brushed him off. „So Y/n you haven't told us anything about the past five years. How was Germany?" Peter asked. I really didn't know how to answer this question without saying anything about my mission. I really should have thought about a story before coming back. „There was a lot of work to do. I didn't get much time for myself." what a lie. Well technically it wasn't I really had quiet some work to do. „Oh come on you must've had some time off. Haven't you met anyone there?" I actually did. That's the problem and I was trying to avoid. There isn't much to talk about anyways because I lost him three years ago. „To answer you're question Peter I did actually. He was a scientist just like me. We worked together on the same project. But our ways split up because I am back home." I was trying to give everyone as minimum informations as possible. „I would be happy to meet him one day
Y/n." Well that's not possible because he died in my arms three years ago. „Yeah that won't be necessary. It didn't end well." I was tearing up and I couldn't hold it back anymore. I had to leave this conversation before I burst out in tears.

„I need to go get some air." I didn't gave anyone a chance to hold me back and I already left the kitchen. The tears were already streaming down may face and my vision went blurry. I bumped into Nat and I was shocked. She stopped me from walking away and grabbed onto my arms. „Hey You're good? What's wrong?" I wanted to open up to her or to anyone so bad but I couldn't and it fucking hurts. I started to wipe my tears away „I-I'm good. I just need some air." I didn't gave her a chance of asking any further and I practically fled away from her. I don't want to face anyone right now.

Avengers POV
Nat walked Into the kitchen confused and angry.
You automatically know that something is of when she enters the room like this. „What happened here before Y/n left?" she approached everyone who was sitting on the table eating breakfast. Everyone glanced at each other confused not knowing what to say. „We Just had a conversation about Y/n time in Germany. Looks like she didn't take it well." Steve mentioned. „Yeah I figured because she looked crushed when I bumped into her in the hallway. What did you ask her?" „we asked if there was someone new in her life and her mood changed really fast. She probably just misses them there." Peter mentioned. Wanda was really concerned about Y/n well being. She could sense that the boys hit a nerve and they didn't let it go. „I will go and look for her." Wanda stood up and walked out of the kitchen to go follow Y/n.

Y/n POV
As soon as I was out of sight from the compound I crushed down to the ground crying. I pushed all my feelings away for a week and everything was swerving around. I couldn't keep it down anymore and I had to let it out. I chocked on my sobbing and I was so angry at myself. I don't know for how long I was knelling down on the ground but I noticed that someone approached me from behind. I wiped my tears away and jumped up immediately. Crying in front of people, it made me feel weak and vulnerable. Something I don't like to show to many people. I looked up to see who it was and I saw Wanda.
„You don't need to hide you're feelings from me Y/n. I won't say anything if you open up to me." I just shook my head no to her comment. „No I just needed to collect myself. I'm all good." She raised her brows at my answer „You're clearly not and lying doesn't suit you Y/n. You know I can read minds right?" I looked at her in shock. I can't let her in my head or else she will find out what really happened in Germany. „Noo don't. I just can't tell anyone about it and you are not supposed to know about it either." „you mean about you're lover back in Germany? How bad can it be?" oh she has no clue about what happened. I needed to brush her off with a any excuse. „He left me. It didn't end well and I haven't really processed everything." „that's fine that you haven't processed everything. It might be some years behind but it looks like you haven't talked to anyone about it. Not even in Germany am I guessing right?"
I nod at her question and looked down at my hands. „I was the reason for it. The cause for him leaving me and I can never forgive myself for it." Wanda came closer and pulled me into a loving hug. Being close to her puts me at ease in some point. She is so calm and loving. I didn't want this moment to end but I also needed it to because I know I will start crying again if I hug her longer. „Thank you..for listening."
„I told you I am a good listener. I am here for you." she gave me a soft smile. „Before I forget it. Tony has planed a party for you. He wanted to do it before but you came home by surprise and he hadn't had the chance to plan anything. It might keep you're mind of." she gave me a grin. „Yeah it might." and we started to move back into the compound.