Y/n Stark

This is my story

Y/n POV
...
„Can I Doc? Because I don't know if I can rely on others that much." I answered and she let out a sight wich I couldn't really define.

„Why do you believe that?" she asked starting to take notes again.

„People like to leave when it gets to tuff to handle me. My mess. They leave or they push me away or they die through my hands. It's not that hard to see that I am the one who is actually the problem and not the world around me."

„Aren't we all a mess Y/n? We just need the right people so we can sort everything out."

I shook my head. „Nobody is as messed up as I am doc. I've had so much to deal with in the last six years that I don't think anybody can handle."

„Wich Are?" she asked and I raised a brow.

„I am sorry I thought you already knew everything about me?" I asked not understanding why she asked me this.

„Dr Cho filled me in briefly. But I wanna hear it from you and she didn't know everything I assume." she answered.

„Yeah i guess she only told you the tip of the iceberg." this made her expression Fall into a softer one than before.

„Where do you want me to start doc? I mean we already had a trip back into my childhood slash teenage time." she tilted her head at me.

„Why don't you start with six years from now. I assume this is the time where most of you're trauma comes from... and if you need a break we can stop."

I took in a deep breath thinking back on the time to six years from now.
„I was actually signed up for a mission. This was actually my biggest mission ever. My first solo trip. Fury wanted to send me to Germany. There were some suspicious universities working on some stuff wich wasn't normal. I was actually surprised that he asked me. But he was sure that I was the best. I wasn't really an eye catcher when it came to the Avengers team. I was pretty unknown. Wich you wouldn't think since I am the daughter of the famous Tony Stark. Guess being on boarding schools brought me some good afterwards." I chuckled dry and moved on. „Anyways. With my Doctor title I was pretty informed in the scientific stuff. So he said I would fit perfectly. He assured me it was only a mission go absorb Informations and to report on their work and process. I didn't really thought much about it. So i agreed. I didn't know that it would take me almost five years being gone. Away from home. From my family, away from the team and from my best friend."

„Do you regret leaving?" she asked and i nod directly.

„Yeah I did with every fiber of my body. Since the day I left. The regrets didn't leave me. Even though I knew that I was doing the right thing. That I was doing it for the team. I still didn't want to. Because the worst part was to leave without telling them why I left. I told them it was for a stupid Diploma. Fury told me I shouldn't tell anybody about it. I didn't even tell Nat and she is my best friend."

She nod at me taking in everything while writing notes down. She didn't interrupt me so I continued explaining her everything.

„So. I left and I was feeling horrible. That I had to lie to them. The ones who knew where Rogers and Fury.
Gladly everything worked out fine wich I didn't expect. I was working with other scientists on this project and the possible weapon. I was working for two years. I had a great but also stressful and frustrating time."

„What made you're time good? Or who made it good?" she asked and my heart dropped at her question. It was Thomas. He was the goofiest person I've met. He was my distraction. My happiness. Guess it was only temporary.

„Thomas. We worked together. We hated each other at first I have to admit that. But we got stuck together at work and somehow we worked. The chemistry was right. He was making me happy. He distracted me from my guilt tripping. He was my boyfriend for some time and it was a great time.
We had our final project ahead of us and we wanted to come back to New York after that. But it didn't go as planned. He. He died that day." tears started to fill my eyes as I was thinking back on tho moment.