Y/n Stark

Drunk words are sober thoughts

Y/n POV
The night settled in and the party started to build up. Many people gathered together to celebrate Dad's come back. The whole team already drank a lot and everyone was enjoying their time focused on their own conversations. „Hey Y/n I feel like we haven't talked in a while... I feel like I missed out on you. How are you holding up?" Steve asked me and he brought me out of my thoughts. „It's fine Steve. You had a lot going on with leading the team. I am holding on don't worry." he nod but it looked sad wich I didn't get. „What's on you're mind Rogers? You seem worried." I said sipping on my drink. „I feel like I never got to apologize for the time I left you alone in Germany. I shouldn't have encouraged you to go in the first place. I feel like this is all my fault." I shook my head noticeable no.
„This is nonsense Steve. It's not you're fault. I tried to blame you. I really did try that at the beginning but you had no fault at all. It was me. I was the one who brought everything into rolling down hill."
„But still. I should have been there for you. I was the only one involved from the team. I hope you will forgive me one day." I grabbed onto his shoulder squeezing it before I pull him into a tight hug. „You're forgiven." I whispered into his ear and I felt how he smiled into my shoulder.

„Ohh Are you guys bonding hmm?" Sam came by with Bucky laughing at us. „My favorite chaotic duo. You better quit it with annoying me or else I will kick you're asses." I said giving them a hug each.
„you and your attitude. How are you feeling jokes aside?" Bucky asked sounding concerned.
„First Rogers and then you guys? What day is it? Ask you're teammate how they're feeling? But jokes aside. I am better Bucky. Not perfectly fine but on the way up hill. Hope it will stay that way for a while." he grinned at me probably because he is the only one who is involved on my therapy sessions. „That's relieving to hear Y/n. It really is. We just all worry about you." Bucky added smiling bright at me. „I know. I appreciate it guys."
Rogers and Wilson started to have their own conversation as Bucky and I were talking to each other about our therapy sessions. „how is it going with Dr. Raynor?" he asked as we sat down in a quieter spot in the common area. „It's going good I guess. I am opening up wich feels weird. I am adjusting my feelings and we try to process everything that is going on. I put away my pills from time to time but I still have my nightmares and my ups and downs. I even opened up to Wanda about my time at hydra." he raised his brows at me in surprise. „That Sound amazing Y/n. I am proud that you are making this process and letting yourself show those emotions. It's hard but I feel like you look more relieved." I nod at him smiling a bit.
„I am actually. I feel like a weight fell off my shoulders. I didn't expect to feel this good about it."  He got up from his sitting position to go to the bar and grab a bottle off  Vodka and two shot glasses. „Honestly Y/n this progress off you should be celebrated." I shook my head no. „Bucky I don't think this I a good idea. I already had a lot off drinks." he poured us two shots anyway. „At least one. Don't let you're buddy down. Come on Stark. Do you chicken out?" he asked mocking me in a funny way. „Me chicken out? Get this glass over Metal arm!" I reached out for the glass and took the shot down with no hesitation. He didn't even have a chance to react. „Oi mate. This was to fast. Take one with me not without me!" and he poured me another one. „Okay only this one." I said and he laughed at me. „Chicken." he said and this made me burn from inside out. He is challenging me I know it but I can't resist it. I haven't let loos in a long time and this feels like a night where I can forget for a couple seconds what will come a head soon. „Okay now arms crossed!" he yelled out even though he is sitting next to me. We drank many shots. I stopped counting after five.
„Crossed arm? You sure you can't even hold you're glass up without wiggly hands." I laughed uncontrollably about my joke. „I can." he said raising his hand holding still for a couple seconds.
„Fine." we wanted to entangle our arms and he spilled his shot on my shirt wich was now soaked in vodka. „Told you, you idiot." he laughed picking up tissues to whip the stain away.