Y/n Stark

Honestly

Wanda POV

„Do you know where Y/n is?" I asked Nat as I walked into the kitchen seeing her drinking a cup of tea. „No why? Isn't she in her room?" she asked shaking her head. „No I looked everywhere for her. I feel like shit. I shouldn't have kept it from her. Not for so long and especially not telling everyone. I just..." Nat cut me off not letting me finish my sentence. „How about you turn around." she wiggled with her hand and I was confused about what she meant but I turned around and I saw Y/n standing in the doorway. I was frozen in spot not knowing how to react. „I think we need to talk."
She sounded cold wich scared me. I don't know what will come now. Another fight? A break up? Or will she forgive me? I can't tell she is hard to read this time. „I will let you to it." Nat said and Y/n shook her head. „No Nat you can stay. Wanda and I will go to my room and talk there. I will come around later to talk to the team." she said and turned around on her feet to walk into her room. I was still standing there frozen but Nat bumped me. „What are you standing here? Go on." she said and I swallowed my lump in my throat.

Y/n's door was open and I walked in without saying anything. She was sitting on the bed waiting for me. I closed the door and made my way to her bed to join her. I sat down and she watched my every move closely. She didn't say anything at first and neither did I. We just stared at each other.
„It's not easy for me to say this." she began and I started to think off any possible outcome. My heart was almost pumping out off my chest and I didn't know how to control it. „I understand if you wanna break up or have a break from our relationship. Or that you just wanna scream at me I-I." she stopped me mid way. „Stop it. What are you talking about?" she asked me with a perplexed expression on her face. „I just thought you wouldn't want this anymore." I pointed hectic between us but she grabbed my hand to calm me down. „How could I?" she asked me confused.
„Wanda I could never leave you. Even if I wanted to." I let out a shaky breath as more confusion started to build up. „You won't?" I asked to reinsure myself. „Never." she said stroking my hand. „I don't know what is going on in your Head but I came to apologize." I shook my head in confusion. „Why would you apologize? I was the one lying to you and the team too." I answered and she shook her head. „I was acting in anger and hurt at The Moment. My emotions took over and I couldn't control myself. I didn't even let you explain properly. I understand you had your reasons."

I glanced into her beautiful glossy eyes and she looked genuinely sorry for what happened.
„I am so sorry Y/n. I should have told you in the first place. This wasn't right. Especially telling the others and not you. I just thought I would protect you by not telling you." she went with her free hand through my hair and I gave in on her touch.
„Nothing that will come around now will bring me down... You know why?" I shook my head no.
„I am already at my lowest point. But you guys keep me going. It hit hard to find out he is his son. But it's nothing I can't handle hmm." she amazes me every time. I could never be this steady if all theses things would have happened to me.
„But still. I shouldn't have lied to you. It was wrong." she chuckled at my answer. „We both were wrong and right at some point babe." I nod in agreement. „The thing is. I need to tell you something else." she said and something in my stomach twisted and tuned about how serious she sounded. „You make me worry. What is it."
She let out a sight. „I've been lying to you too. To the whole team except for Bucky because he saw me." now I was completely confused. What is she talking about. „Bubs what is it?" I asked again and she let go of me leaning to her bed drawer to grab different pill bottles out. She placed them down in front of me and didn't understand quite at first.
„What are those Y/n?" I asked now sounding serious myself.

„I've been taking these for a couple weeks. But don't worry I got them by prescription." she said and I was still confused. I looked up to her and I saw how she felt some sort off ashamed or embarrassed. „I've been going to therapy since I came back. And I n-need to take these pills to calm me down and even let me sleep." I gasped a little in shock on how she kept this from me. „I should have told you before. B-but it didn't feel right to do so. I just felt ashamed for taking in professional help. That I wasn't possible for myself to talk to you about it. Even tho I wanted to do it so bad.  I was having sessions with Dr. Raynor and she helps. She does and she even helped me to open up and talk to you. I am so sorry I." she was talking extremely fast and she didn't even stop to take a breath. I noticed how she was starting to panic and look around scared. „Hey Y/n. Bubs hey look at me. Calm down okay? Their is no reason to panic. Everything is fine." she looked at me with tears in her eyes. „I should have told you. I was just afraid." I shook my head no. „Afraid Y/n? You have no reason to be afraid of me. I won't judge you for taking in help. This is brave and so strong. I am so proud of you. I noticed how you have changed and you're more open wich is good. You have no reason to be ashamed alright." she closed her eyes taking in a shaky breath. „Thank you." she said as tears rolled down her face. „Don't thank me for that. If you want I can go with you. I am proud of you're process. This is good okay. Don't let your thoughts tell you otherwise." she nod and smiled slightly.
„There is that smile I am missing." she smiled now bright and whipped her tears away. „God I'd be lost without you Wanda." I leaned my head against hers. „Me too my love. Me too." I looked down at her pills and concern started to grow. „Are they helping?" I asked and she looked at me confused.
„You mean the pills?" I nod at her question.
„Yes and no." she said quietly. „What are they for again?" I asked and she grabbed the pills showing me them. „One anti depressant. The other one for my constant anxiety and the other one should help me sleep." I narrowed my brows. „Should?" I asked and she nod. „i should take them a day and then another day leave them out. But they are loosing on effect. I get my nightmare again and not sleeping is pushing my anxiety to my limits. I can't control it and it's killing me." I grabbed onto her hands.
„Did you tell that Dr. Raynor?" I asked and she shook her head in hesitation.

„You should bubs. She might be able to help you. Maybe prescribe you something else. You think you know why it isn't working?" she nod her head.
„My powers might not except the pills in my system. Like they are fighting against it. And it's like I'm being held in my nightmare to go through." tears filled my eyes because she was still fighting so hard to hold everything together. „We will ask The doc if she knows anything to help you." She nod in agreement and put the pills aside.

„Did you watched more videos?" this question took me by surprise. She changed the subject out of nothing. „I didn't and I couldn't. It didn't feel right to do that without your permission. But I don't know if the others did." she nod while fidgeting with her sleeves. „I know we need to watch them. Because this is the only way to let me walk free again. The court will probably want me there too. So that they hear my story too and not just see my videos." I grabbed onto her hands calming them down from fidgeting. „You know we can try to find another way. If this is to much for you. You don't have to push yourself on doing something." she shook her head hesitated. „No we need to. I'll be fine." I tilted my head at her.
„You always say you will be fine. You don't have to be fine every time bubs. It's okay not to be okay." she smiled slightly at me and it was almost not noticeable. „I just know that everyone will look at me in pity. I can't stand it. But if we finish this I can try to start move on." I hummed in agreement and stroked the hair out of her face.

Y/n POV

„you think the Team is mad at me for being such a bitch earlier?" I asked her and she giggled shaking her head no. „They couldn't be mad at you. You've been through so much and it is normal to be emotional. They will understand bubs." I nod in agreement. „I gotta ask you something?" she stated and curiosity grew in me. „Go for it." and she nod at me hesitated. „Why did Bucky know about you're therapy?" I had a feeling that she would ask me this and I understand why. I mean we're good friends but I wouldn't have told him that by myself.
„You guys went on a mission and came back. He was the first to enter and he saw how I was walking out off Dr Raynors office. So he put the puzzle together and confronted me. But he helped me because he is going too and he was supporting me in every way wich I am thankful for." she smiled at me lightly. „So you don't have to worry about him. I mean he is hot not gonna lie but my eyes only light up for you." she gave me a punch but I deserved it. „Joking Y/n haven't seen this before." she said and my smile slightly faded away. „It's because I haven't done that in years. Guess the old me from six years ago is showing a bit." I scratched the back off my head and she just smiled at me bright. „Can't wait to meet her. I will love her anyway." she said and this made my heart warm up.
„I love you too." I gave her a soft kiss and she replied instantly not wasting any second.