Y/n Stark

She loves me

Wanda POV
I walked past Y/n room not knowing that she was on the phone with Nat unit I heard her talk. I stopped right in front of her door leaning against the frame listening to her. I feel bad for listening but I need to know more on why she is pushing me away. I placed me ear against the door to hear better. She was crying while she was on the phone. My heart hurts to know in how much pain she is.
I then heard her speak up „Nat you have no idea. I care for her. I really do. She was one of the main reasons why I held onto life. While I was tortured and experimented on I was thinking of her." She held in for a moment and then continued  „Every time when my head was pushed down into water or when they put me in this chair and electroshocked me I was holding on so bad. Just to see her one more time. But when I saw how she got shoot I realized that I couldn't let myself fall for her. I am trying to stop falling. Everyone around me dies or gets disappointed Nat. She deserves better."
I feel like my heart stopped as I heard how those words slipped out of her mouth. Hearing this makes me wanna burst into her room and hug her so tight that her fears fade away. She is suppressing her feelings towards me wich is hurting because I don't want nothing else then to be there for her.
I was frozen in my spot not realizing that she ended the call.

The loud thunderstorm builded up and it snapped me out of my frozen state. I stepped back from her door not knowing if it was right to walk in. She might not want to see me. I mean she made it clear but I don't believe her since I heard what she said to Nat. I paced back and forth still in the hallway right in front of Y/n's door. „What are you doing here?"
I froze in shock as I heard Y/n's raspy voice. I turned around seeing her red face and puffy eyes from crying. „Eh-I was just..." I pointed down to the hall thinking of an excuse but there wasn't coming anything. „I assume that you've heard my conversation with Nat." she said crossing her arms and leaning against the door frame. I nodded a shy yes. „I wasn't planing on to do so. I-I just heard you as I walked past you're r-room and.... I am sorry." her brows shrugged together. „Did you hear everything?" she asked in a demanding tone.
I shook my head no while playing with my rings on my fingers. „No, no not everything..." I answered and her body language losendes up a bit.
„But enough to know that what you said to me earlier isn't true." her expression fell to what I've said. „There is nothing that will change my mind. I've caused to much damage in my past and I don't want to drag you down with me Wanda. I've said it once and I will say it again. You deserve better. I am not good for you so please except my decision."
I took a step forward to her looking her right in the eyes that were red from crying. „You can't tell me who I want to be with. Pushing me away is hurting the both of us and need you. Just as much as you need me." she looked down to the floor minding eyes contact. „I don't need anyone." she didn't look up as she said that. „Then look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't need anyone. Because we both know damn well that this is a lie." she raised her head looking at me and not saying anything. She was close on crying. But she held her tears back like a champion. „I don't need you." she said and my heart broke once more. I gasped at her answer. Is she really going to bring it that far? „I don't believe you."
I said holding back my sob. I felt how my throat tightened like I was choked by her words. Her breath hitched as I took a step closer to her. I am dammed if I let her go like this. „I don't care how hard you will push me back with you're actions. No matter how high or thick you build up you're walls I am not giving up on reaching you. I don't care if you think that you can hurt me because you can't. You won't get rid of me anymore. I am here to stay. If you like it or not." she didn't say anything. Her tears fell but she didn't wipe them away. I fell like I can't stop talking so I moved on. „I didn't even know that I could fall for someone in this way. Because I am falling and I don't know if there will be a safety net on the end. It started way back before you been gone for eight months. I was feeling terrible when you saw how Vision kissed me at you're first party back at the compound... and This feeling didn't leave me as I heard how you got stabbed in you're Loft. I felt like crap when you got hurt. When you lost you're Memory my heart stopped. As you got you're memories back I was feeling so sorry for you because you had to lose a loved one again and I know how this feels. I just wanted to take the grief and pain away from you. I would carry it with me if I have to.
I just-..." i stopped mid way as I felt how my tears fell down onto the ground. „Don't do this to me Wanda."
Is this everything she has to say? „Do what Y/n? Open up to you. I care for you. Don't you get it?"