Y/n Stark

Opening up

Y/n POV
There she was standing still in shock as I denied the feelings between us. They're obviously there but I can't let this happen. I lost enough and I can't lose her too so I have to keep her at distance. Her emerald eyes were filled with tears off confusion and hurt. I didn't want to end up like this but she can't be with me. No one can. Not after Thomas and the whole story back in Germany. I wanted to leave and I got in mind that I need to see Dr Cho. I cleared my throat and blinked my tears away. „I should go see Dr Cho." I didn't gave Wanda the chance to hold me back. I left in a rush and she was standing there alone with a broken heart that I caused. Once again I disappoint. I feel like this Will Never end.
I walked in on Dr Cho as she was working on the Laptop on some stuff. „I am here for the check up doc." she raised her head smiling at me and pointing at the bed. I sat down and lifted my shirt to let her look at my wounds. „Alright they're healing great so far. I will just clean them up again and put some bandages to prevent any infections or contact." I nod and laid down on the bed to let her work. „Alright.
I think you're done for today. Do you have anything to complain about? Any pain somewhere?" I shook my head no as I got up while pulling my shirt down.
„Not really... except for the not sleeping and paranoia." she let out a sight adjusting my comment.
„I think once you got to therapy you will be feeling better. I talked to Dr Raynor. She gave me some advice to help you." I raised a brow at her. I didn't know that she was already talking to my therapist.
„And what advice should that be doc?" she didn't say anything. She moved away from my bed and walked up to the desk in the med bay. Grabbing a pen and a note book. She came back and handed them to me. I looked down at the objects and then up at her.
„You want me to start a diary? What am I 11 and writing my high school crush down?" she rolled her eyes smiling afterwords. „Kinda off yeah."
„Well with all due respect. This is a bit ridiculous don't you think? I mean how is this supposed to help me cope with my trauma?" she walked to the medical supply desk and leaned against it crossing her arms. „This is a start off for Dr Raynor. So that she can know what to deal with in you're situation. It's not ridiculous. At the moment you can't express you're emotions to someone. You can't talk openly with Wanda about you're Trauma. Even if you want to. Writing it down will help reflect you're surroundings and you're situation." I put the pen and the note book down next to me scratching my head In confusion. „So i should just write anything down. Just something that comes to my mind?" I asked to get a clearer picture on what to do.
„She told me and I quote ‚she should start writing down anything. Once she is in the writing flow she won't stop.' so yeah write the things down that come to you're mind and she will see how she can help you. I am sure this Methode will help you."
I nod in agreement understanding what she wants from me. „Alright. How often should I write something down?" she lifted herself from her leaning  position up and walked past me to the laptop.
„As much As possible. Writing you're trauma down will be challenging. But it will be more challenging to talk about it later in the therapy sections with Dr Raynor. So take it easy. When you notice that you are struggling on writing things down just take a break. Distract yourself with Wanda. She can sure help too." my expression fell. „Yeah I am not really in good terms with Wanda now. But I will write don't worry." she nod in comprehension and I got up with my pen and note book. „If you need anything you know where to find me." I nod at her smiling softly.
„Thanks for the help Doc." she smiled at me and I left to go to my room.

Wanda POV
Somehow my feet carried me to my room onto the edge off my bed. I felt like I was paralyzed. She shut me down and pushed me away. I fought for her to be back with all of us. I care endlessly for her but she just doesn't want to take my affection. Tears fell down onto my trousers. I reached for my phone and dialed Nat's number. I need to talk to her I don't know what else to do or I will go insane. It took her some seconds to pick up.

„Hey Wanda. How's it going?" I let out a sight... I finally heard her voice wich calmed me a bit.

„Y/n woke up." I didn't sound overwhelmed happy about it wich she noticed directly.