Shifting Stories

My shifting experience part 2

So this is just me continuing to talk abt shifting and all i have in my mind to say abt it. Ill be answering all questions that got asked in the comments on the other chapters.

Positive things about shifting:

Even tho i did talk about all the bad things that happened to me that have to do with shifting on the first part, i do have to say that most of the shifting process is positive. It appears that i have done a lot of changes in my CR person/personality to. It's just like i have learned from a lot of Students there and from their personalities.

What i have learned from Pepole at Hogwarts in my DR:

Now, first of all we have Luna Lovegood. She has helped me alot and i really appreciate her being such a good friend to me actually. Luna is the person that always tries to be there when no one else is and that doesn't judge you at all. I've actually learned from her even in my CR. I learned how to react when pepole are crying. Usually i used to walk away in those situations. Seeing someone crying overwhelms me and i was never helpful. When i saw someone crying i just turned around and walked away because i had no idea how to act. After I've seen how Luna handles that i have changed that completely. I'm not overwhelmed or walk away anymore when i see someone crying. I just stay there and try my best (and trust me my best is not enough) trying to be „there" for them that moment. Luna he a really good impact on me.

The second person i want to talk about is Astoria. Yes, actually. The girl that i punched in the face has helped me in some kind of way. I learned from her that chasing after a boy or thinking about your ex boyfriend is pathetic. And chasing after a boy looks pathetic and gross. I've never chased after a boy but in case i ever even think abt it im gonna remind myself of how Astoria makes herself a fool every time she goes after Draco. The same goes with Pansy actually.

The third person is Ron. He always talked to me from the beginning on. Hermione and Harry despised me from the beginning on for some reason i still can't explain myself, but even if Ron belonged to them he thought completely different from me like they did. Even if he saw how Hermione made him signs to not talk to me when he tried to talk to me, that wouldn't stop him. Or if he is togheter with Hermione and Harry walking and sees me he doesn't care and waves at me smiling. I think i could learned from him to not judge other pepole just listening to what others say.

The fourth person is Draco malfoy. I actually hate him at this point but i have to recognize i even learned something from him and from our old relationship that we had. Looking back at our relationship it wasn't that serious as i thought it was. I learned from that relationship that i should NEVER say that i love someone if i don't mean it. I'm not sure if i realized back then how we actually didn't care a lot about each other. Thinking back to how i even went that low to tell him that i love him makes me want to throw up honestly. He never really meant it. And i didn't mean it either. I just let myself believe that i felt something for him even tho that was absolutely not my case. I even saved his Live. I don't regret it, but i regret everything that includes that relationship.

And the fifth person *sigh* Tom Riddle. What could i possibly learn from him? Believe it or not, he was the person i most learned off. And yes i know he is a total bitch but i learned from him ALOT. The way he doesn't care about people's opinions, the way he follows his own path, the way that he never lets anyone make him look less with that he is, the way he knows that pepole even talk bad about him behind his back but doesn't even give a single fuck, the way he knows how to stay quite if he knows he should, how he knows exactly what he is and what he is capable off, how he just scoffs if someone tries to tell him that they are better then him, how he knows exactly what he is good at, how he knows his weaknesses even tho he doesn't admit that he has any, how he just turns his feelings off.. all that thing, i learned them from him. He made me recognize that i needed to put myself before every other person. I never cared about people's opinions or how they thought of me but Tom made me not even listen to them. Lately in my CR someone said something like REALLY REALLY offensive. Normally i would've punched him in the face but i just contained myself and looked at him not even giving a fuck what they just said. I didn't even spend any second thought on what they said, the moment they said it they where dead to me. Tom made me realize that im stronger then i thought i was. He made me reality that Trauma doesn't make me weak, seeing pepole die doesnt make me weak, it just makes me stronger emotionally. That strong that i start feeling less when bad news abt that someone passed away come to me. And i knew he was right. In my CR 17 Pepole that where actually close to me died last year from different causes. And i realized that it doesn't hit as hard as it did at the beginning. He made me realize that i don't have to hide who i truly am. In my CR i wear a mask the entire time. I fake smile the entire time, i make jokes with my classmates so they laugh, for the entire Time. And slowly i started to realize that that is not necessary. I act in my CR like im extroverted and talk to pepole like i loved that. I'm slowly starting to do what i actually want to do. Stand aside when a group of pepole talk, just listen to their conversations without talking or feeling the need to make them laugh. Just focusing on myself. At school i started to laugh less and i started to make less jokes. I don't think anyone did even notice. And maybe y'all will think that it's bad that i smile less or anything like that but i was faking my laugh the entire time. I'm a GOOD actor when it comes to faking emotion. I can laugh and talk to pepole i don't like and will never like. But because of Tom Riddle i realized it's not necessary to fake laugh if i can just be myself and be what i want to be. That's what i learned from him.