The Odd Doctor Out | A Drama | S. 1

164 🩺 Educated

Knocking and pleading at Yeosang's door, Wooyoung didn't know what scared him more; the fact that he'd never seen Yeosang so angry in his life, or the fact that there was nothing but dead silence coming from inside his room.

'Hyung-ah~~ Pleaseee! Hyung-ah, please let me explain! Pleaseeee!' His head was starting to ache from deep within his sinuses and his head felt light, but sitting on the floor against Yeosang's door, nothing else mattered than begging his brother to let him in.

But then Hongjoong was suddenly beside him, picking him up from off of the floor.

'N-no! No-' he argued, trying to stay put, but Hongjoong just forced Wooyoung's arm over his shoulders and half carried him back to his room.

Crying hysterically on Hongjoong's bed, Wooyoung watched as his Hyung walked out for a moment, coming back with his phone.

Choking hysterically through his tears, Wooyoung sniffed and coughed as he looked down, confused, to see Hongjoong holding out his phone.

'Unlock your phone,' he said, deadly calm, and the moment he spoke, Wooyoung felt even more guilty. He'd never been spoken to like that by Hongjoong, and it hurt.

But he didn't dare disobey him. Reaching a shaky hand out, he took his phone and put in his pattern, helpless as Hongjoong took it back and started flipping through it.

From where he was sitting, Wooyoung glanced longingly at Yeosang's locked door, and his own phone as he saw Hongjoong navigate through his texts. And as Hongjoong started reading something, Wooyoung began to panic even harder.

Just a few moments later, Hongjoong shoved his phone back at him.

'Resign.'

Through wet eyes and matted eyelashes dripping with tears, Wooyoung looked up at his Hyung. 'B-but-'

'No I don't care, Wooyoung. Resign right now!'

Wooyoung's bottom lip began to quiver as he nervously glanced at his texts to the club. His hands were shaking so badly and his whole body felt so pained and guilty sick that he wondered whether he could possibly, physically feel any worse.

'Tell them you'll send a formal letter later, or don't. I don't care.' Hongjoong started at him, waiting for him to hurry up and just do it.

Seeing his stone cold emotionless face, Wooyoung immediately tried to calm his shaking hands to compose the message, willing to do anything to earn back just a fraction of the face he was used to seeing in his Hyung.

But as his thumb hovered over the send button, he hesitated.

Memories of how he'd come to work there in the first place washed over him- his love for his brother... but also the thrill of trying something new... he hadn't always hated it... in fact, there's been times when he liked it...

But then through tear stained eyes, Wooyoung glanced up at Yeosang's shut door.

He may have once liked it, but it was now the reason his brother hated him, and had shut himself away...

Heartlessly, he pressed send and tossed his phone aside. Blinking wildly as a wet eyelash, weighed down by his tears and found its way into his eye, he rubbed at it, managing to free it, before finally crumbling.

Gazing into his lap, he broke down, loosing all hope. His brother didn't want to look at him anymore, and his Hyung was disgusted with him. And all he'd wanted to do was help...

'Wooyoung, it's not your fault.'

Glancing up slowly, Wooyoung swiped at his tears falling in literal streams, his head throbbing.

Hongjoong sighed heavily, turning and getting the tissue box from his desk before coming to sit in front of him, giving him the box.

'Wooyoung, you have had a lot of serious trauma in your life.'

There was a long silence filled with Wooyoung's tears as he hiccuped and sniffed, trying badly to control himself.

'You have had a lot of trauma, and it has just affected the way you see your body.' He pulled another tissue from the box and held it out to him, letting him reach a shaky, unsteady hand to accept it.

'It's not your fault. But Wooyoung, you have to remember how much it devastates us to see how little respect you have for your own body.'

Wooyoung hiccuped over and over again, trying to calm his tears to listen to his Hyung.

'We're just really upset that you would do this to yourself, and hurt that you lied to us about it.'

Wooyoung watched through doe eyes as Hongjoong ran his hand through his hair, leaning back in his chair and biting his lip.

'Fuck, Woo. Why didn't you just talk to us? We could have easily worked something out.'

Wooyoung sniffed, feeling immensely guilty 'I'm sorry...' he choked, clutching the tissue Hongjoong had given him like his life depended on it. 'I-I'm r-r-r-really s-s-sorry...'

Crumbling, Hongjoong nodded. Leaning forward, he rolled over to the bed and took Wooyoung's hands in his, including that one tissue.

'Wooyoung, you can't do this to yourself. You have to try harder than that. Okay? Promise me that you'll talk to us. Promise me that at least if you feel you can't talk to your brother, you'll at least come to me.'

Wooyoung tried to move his hands, wanting to strongly take Hongjoong's in his own and never let go, but Hongjoong retracted them all together when he didn't speak.

'Promise, Wooyoung. And while we're promising things, no more lies. Ever. I don't care if it's the whitest, pastiest fucking white lie. None. I want no lies, whatsoever, ever again.'

Wooyoung began to choke on his own tears, trying to clear his throat. 'I-I-I-I-... I-I p-p-promi-mi- p-p-promise...' he held out his hands desperately clutching for Hongjoong, who stared at him for a long moment with those disappointed eyes before sighing heavily.

But he didn't give his hands back. Instead, he stood up and came to sit beside him, holding out his arms.

And Wooyoung suddenly, for the first time in his entire life, hesitated. He stared at Hongjoong with wide pleading eyes as though to ask, can I really go into your arms?

But he didn't speak. Nodding only, Hongjoong scooted a little closer, lifting one leg onto the bed so that Wooyoung was between his legs as he let him fall against his chest; a broken, wrecked, mess.

'I-I-I'm s-s-sorry... s-s-sorry... r-really sorry...' he repeated over and over again.

But somehow, even Hongjoong's hug felt different. It felt stained with disappointment as he parted his back slowly, and despite being surrounded by someone he loved, Wooyoung felt so helplessly alone and pained.

But what was worse was that despite replaying the last ten minutes of events in his head, compared to the last four years, he wasn't even sure whether he regretted what he'd done.

Perhaps four years of his brother's happiness, was worth the pain he was going through now? Perhaps it was worth his family never speaking to him again.

Perhaps, if it hadn't have been this that drove a door between them, it would have been something else, equally as heartbreaking, down the track.

Either way, all Wooyoung knew was that he felt like he'd just lost everything, and that closed door wasn't just a closed door to a room - it was a closed door to his life and to his heart, and that, hurt more than the pain of loosing someone in the flesh.

~~~