A Glimpse Into My Brain

Truth

I can't move right now
If I do I almost yell because of pain
Almost cry too
I think I have cried tonight already
I'm on the couch
I hate it
But there's no way in hell I'd be able to get into my bed

The only reason I write about my life Is so hopefully someone
Anyone
Can feel less alone

So that people who don't experience these things
Can see the truth
Or at least my truth
To see that chronic pain isn't always just pain
To show that people with chronic illnesses are not lazy
That we're not faking it
We don't want this

The things I would give to have the energy to do anything
To have fun
To do school
To hang out with my people
But I don't have that energy

This is what I wish people who don't deal with this
Or who don't have someone close to them who deals with this
Would understand
We want to have fun
And choosing between what makes you happy and what keeps your pain down
Is fucking heartbreaking

(30/5/21)