Chronic Pain

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CW: talk of chronic pain

You see,
The funny thing about chronic pain
Is the pranks it pulls on you
And by funny I guess you could say cruel

The prank of telling you that you have energy,
Until you do something productive
Like school work
Or a shower
Or even just a walk

It makes you incapable of movement some days
But then you feel almost fine the next
Until you over do it
And wind up fucking yourself over

It makes doctors not believe you
And leaves teachers confused
It makes those who care about you concerned
And those who don't know either think you're fine or lazy,
Depends on the day

It creates a cage of missed opportunities
Of missed assignments
And tests
And homework
And friends
And health
And sleep
And fun

But depending on the day
I can look fine
I can go on walks
And get school work done
And maybe even have enough energy to do something fun
But inside it hurts like hell

But then there are days I can hardly move
And don't have enough energy to even walk across the street
And can't do anything requiring me to sit up
And inside it hurts like hell

The cruelest thing about chronic pain
Is the pranks it pulls on not just you
But also those who see you and assume you're fine
All because your disability isn't visible

(8/5/21)

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