A Glimpse Into My Brain

Exhaustion and Worry

TW: suicidal thoughts, brief mentions of chronic pain and medications

I'm exhausted
I'm always exhausted

Mental exhaustion
Sleep deprivation
Chronic pain side affects
Medication side affects
Mental health problems

All contribute to an exhausted person
And I feel bad for my doctors in a way
They're trying to help me sleep better
But they don't even know half the story

Only one person, maybe two, know about some of the hidden stuff
One if them knows a bit more than half
I'm going to kill myself one day

But there's really only eight people I worry about
That I care about
That I more or less trust
Less for half of them

I only worry that they'll try to follow me
That they'll kill themselves to
They all have fantastic futures ahead of them
I don't want to steal that from them

So when I do kill myself
Just promise that you won't follow me,
Please?

(18/5/21)