A Glimpse Into My Brain

Suicide

TW: suicide/suicidal thoughts

You call us selfish
Attention whores
Fakers
Wrong
Fucked up

You tell us we're
Worthless
Wrong
Faking it
Stupid
Just doing it for attention

You tell us
We're monsters
We should just die
We'll never amount to anything
We're unlovable

You tell us all this and are still surprised when we kill ourselves?

You make us feel like a freak
Like we'll never fit in
You make us believe from when we're young
That we'll never amount to anything

You expect us to be complacent when we're dying from your words
We can't do this anymore
We can't keep doing this

We want to die and don't tell you so you don't worry
We're broken and disfigured
And yet you tease us relentlessly

We fight our minds every night trying not to
Slit our wrists
Hang ourselves
Walk into water
Jump off a bridge
Swallow all those pills
Blow our brains out

And some of us are in to much pain and can't fight
Sometimes the mere thought of existing is to much
Some of us can't take it
Why do you think we don't call it selfish?

Because we know the struggle of doing it
We know how fucking hard it is to pick up the gun
We know they fought so fucking hard
We know how hard they tried not to

Coping skills
Any of them
We've probably tried

I've wanted to kill myself for over three years now
You know what's stopped me?
Knowing my family would have to see my body
Knowing my friends would blame themselves
Knowing I would hurt so many people

So don't fucking tell me suicide is selfish

(27/3/21)