A Glimpse Into My Brain

Change

TW: implied self harm, mentions of panic & cancer

My dad said I handle change better than I used to
I really don't
But I had enough punishment for not liking it,
So I just learnt how to hide that fact

I still hate change
I hate it so much
Unexpected change especially
It makes me panic
And not be able to breath properly

I don't really have a choice though
My mums cancer is fucking things up
Covid is fucking everything up
I'm working with kids now
They do and say unexpected things

Change is hell
I fucking hate it
None of it has never been positive for me
That fact is visibly spread out on my body
But of course my parents are never going to know that

(27/7/21)