If I Had One Wish

Chapter Eight

Chapter Eight- Choke

[TW: Cutting and the thoughts that come with it.]

"Tell the truth."

"Why would I do that?"

"I dunno, maybe it'd make you happier."

"What even is happiness, for real?"

"I wouldn't know, we both fucked up."

"What do we do?"

"There's nothing we can do."

"Bullshit."

.•° ✿ °•.

Katsuki let the bitter feeling creep through his veins, not even trying to evade it as he kicked his door shut and collapsed on the floor. Letting out a deep sigh, his lungs expanding before falling flat, his last breath of air before he was pulled under.

The minute he got a grip was the minute he slipped. It started off slow but now the feeling was coming back quicker, the numbing feeling spreading along his body like a drug. He had to embrace it, accept that he was being pulled underwater with his demons clawing at his arms and legs. Reaching his chest, pulling out his heart and encasing it with ice.

Clawing, that left marks, right? He blinked drowsily, feeling light headed as he raised his arm up, the direction shoving back his sleeves as he looked at the marks.

How weak. He laughed, a sadistic, tortured, laugh. He had so many problems, drama, what was he doing with his life? What had he become?

It was like the downfall of the prom queen. Just another dressed up heartbreak, only eighteen and he wanted it all to stop. He was perfect, strong, beautiful and mature. That was his made up legacy, his composure, his beautiful mask.

He was playing a part on stage. Reading from a script that kept knowing eyes at bay, kept his own anxiety warded off until he broke backstage. His makeup, god forbid it faded or melted off.

It's getting harder to breath, he felt it on his lungs, the pressure, the ache. He was getting pulled deeper under the icy cold depths of the sea. A hand grasping his ankle and yanking him further under the waves, his head barely holding itself above water. And, in one quick movement he was pulled all the way under.

And, the sad part was, this was all within him. This was how he felt. On the outside he was normal, or was perceived as such because the Katsuki on the outside wasn't drowning. He was tracing the scars on his arm, counting them over and over like a never ending mantra.

Hey, do you think Deku feels like this? Maybe you rubbed off on him!- His demons excited, perked up at the thought of wrecking something innocent and pure. -Hey, hey, maybe he likes getting hurt! Or... Or maybe your words give him dark thoughts too! Oh, oh what if, what if he wants you dead! Cause you told him to die-

Katsuki let out a gasp, his throat tightening as air got cut off. He was being pulled under now, drowning.

Right? You told him to take a dive off the roof of a building!

Bakugou's crimson eyes turned to molten lava as they brimmed with tears. I didn't mean it!

Oh, sure you didn't. You meant every word and you know it. What if he did it. Surely you know your words have weight. What if he was doing it right now? What if he's on the top of a building, waiting to tumble down and soar to the concrete face first! Oh how delightful, it would be your fault, y'know?