If I Had One Wish

Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty-one- Reality

"So..." He looked at the expanse of the empty courtroom, both of them being left alone after the uproar. The anger. They were finally given peace, quiet, and closure.

Katsuki stared at the bench where the person in question had pleaded their case, his eyes wide and expression vacant as he murmured. "Am I broken? Like they say?"

"No, you're not." Izuku followed the boy's gaze. "And no matter what, you never will be. You're strong."

No I'm not, he wanted to whisper, I never am. I need help.

Help me.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

He awoke with a start, lips tingling and palms sweaty. It was a dream, a cruel one at that, as he looked to his side to see he was alone. Katsuki was not asleep beside him, curled into his side. Or kissing him, murmuring apologies. Midoriya hadn't gone knocking on the males door, demanding to speak with him after seeing the visible hurt in those volcanic eyes when he had flinched away from him.

Izuku was bigger, stronger, yet he flinched and that alone left the blonde wounded. As if he realized all his past actions in that one moment.

In reality, Deku hadn't done anything. It had been a month, maybe two. Time passed slowly yet so quickly he was feeling the days bleed into each other and meld into one never ending cycle of torture.

Everyday he saw his face, everyday he walked past him, neither doing anything about it. Neither helping out the other by saying sorry, it's okay, I love you.

God, I love you so much Kacchan.- He used to think all the time, like it was a beautiful thing. Now it felt like a curse, a weight on his back, his chest, his heart. It pushed him down underwater but also kept him freefalling like it was a never ending drop to the bottom. He wished for it to end, the numb feeling of everything being the same. Everything blending into each other like colour had faded and all that was left was a gray hue.

Is this how he feels?- He would wonder, everytime he woke up and stared at the feeling. Wondering just how bad Katsuki must have it that the numbness became so overbearing he cut into his skin. Scarred himself like he wasn't made out of soft flesh like everyone else. What Izuku was feeling was a mere glimpse of what Katsuki felt everyday, and he knew that. He knew it well. Because Midoriya still felt. He felt pain, he felt love, he felt everything. Despite the days becoming an endless loop he felt it all.

And it hurts. It hurts to know that, hell, he probably knows what keeps the blonde up at night. And he was doing nothing. What he was feeling was tripled.

Maybe that was why he called Mitsuki, his hands shaking and running cold once again as he found himself staring at the closed window covered by the thin curtain. He found himself not wanting to see the light for a few weeks, staying in his darkened room like a vampire. But now, as he heard the tone of the phone waiting for it's recipient to pick up, he opened the window to let light filter in.

The gold spilling out onto the floor, into his eyes causing him to squint, just as the dial tone stopped and a warm voice answered. A familiar one. "Hello?"

"Hey Auntie." He murmured, looking down from the window to the sight below. It was quite a coincidence to see Katsuki outside, his red eyes following a bird as it flew around him as he walked through UA's grounds.

The blond rarely went outside anymore and when he did he wasn't alone, Kirishima usually tagged along or someone from Katsuki's friend group. But that morning, by a chance unknown to either of them, he was there. Right when he opened his window, looking out to the expanse of the grounds, Bakugou stood.

"How may I help you, Izuku? It's been a long time!" She spoke. "Did the brat do something?"

Though it could have been seen as mean the word "Brat" was spoken quite warmly, fondly. It wasn't a mean word in the Bakugou family. Izuku watched as the blonde turned slightly, eyes raising to the window as if he felt the eyes on him. No matter how far he was Midoriya could see his beautiful eyes, his gaze, as he stared back.

"No, actually." He raised a brow to Katsuki, even if he couldn't see it. Both of them did not know what to do so they just gazed. Bakugou noticed the phone just as Izuku spoke into it. "I was wondering if I could visit the prison."