If I Had One Wish

Chapter Sixty Five

Chapter Sixty-Five - Fossa 

I feel sick

You're drowning in the pit of my stomach

Oh I know it's my fault

While you're busy diving down I find I feel alone

Feel a little out of my mind

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It had been a solid month.

A month of going to school and acting like he had any other day before the television in Recovery Girls office had broadcasted his business to all his friends. A month of training his body to keep up with the ever overarching demand of heroism. A month of no one bringing up the topic, not even Izuku.

For the entirety of February into the beginning of March, Katsuki had pretended as if that hell of a trial, those weeks leading up to it, that night in his room before it, was nothing but a hiccup in his timeline. A brief fever dream of moments that didn't even feel real.

For a solid month he was able to keep this up. Keep blocking things out, keep forgetting she existed, losing himself in his studies and his partner who was as enrapturing as a stream. Keep pushing away counselors and teachers who tried to bring it up until they went silent. Keep telling his parents he felt just fine, sticking to his prior convictions of "I'm grown up now, I'm too old for her to get to. She can't do anything to me."

But what exactly was she doing in the first place? If anything, this silence in her activity, this lack of her presence, not knowing where she was at all times of the day, was making him all the more anxious. She was out there, somewhere, and that reminder gave him paranoia.

He found himself looking over his shoulder when he went home or to places he knew she used to frequent all those years ago. Earlier that week he had even braved himself up enough, through the rattling of his heart and stuttering lungs, to try and visit the park. He had only made it a block away from the playground, having glanced at the dark overbearing trees on the outskirts and turned around, losing his nerve.

Katsuki was so sure he held onto that anger from before, that teeth gritting rage that boiled in his veins when he had first learned about her getting out. However, as the days waned on and he continued to go about his day regularly, feeling the prickling sensation on the back of his neck as though he was being watched, he found himself resorting back to something similar to what he used to feel.

That feeling when she'd leave the house and he'd be alone in his room after staring up at the ceiling trying to breathe. Trying to piece his body back together.

The calm before the storm. Waiting for something to break the stagnant silence, rock the boat on steady waters and send everything crashing down.

Through this, constantly looking around with shifty eyes, he had started to thin out. Katsuki had a naturally hourglass figure, broad shoulders giving way to a strong chest and biceps to match, sloping down into a tiny waist before curving back out into his narrow hips. Recently, that has begun to change.

He was still growing and with all the calories he was burning with hero work coupled with using his quirk, he needed nutrition. He needed to eat more, he needed to have a steady and healthy diet to keep up with his daily life and he usually did. But he couldn't find the ability to stomach down anything solid, getting sharp swings of nausea to accompany his paranoia.

Katsuki had been feeling sick. His nightmares had been getting worse, the flashbacks and numbing that came everytime something reminded him of her ripped through some of his resolve.