If I Had One Wish

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen- brutal

And I'm so sick of 17

Where's my fucking teenage dream?

If someone tells me one more time

"Enjoy your youth, " I'm gonna cry

.•° ✿ °•.

He was drowning.

Hands pulled him back under the surface of the earth, past the concrete and into the earth's core. His bones snapping, lungs blackening and fingers turning blue.

What happened? He was doing so good! He was learning to be himself again, to go through life normally. But he was drowning again, lungs constricting and eyes turning to crystals as tears fell from them in waves.

You thought you were done with me?- The little voice in his head was back. He was coming to think of it as a curse. It's been a long time, we meet again! I've been trying to get to you desperately! You're acting like you're all high and mighty! We can't have that. No...

Katsuki gasped for breath, body chilling.

You really don't think Izuku could cure you, right? I gave you enough time, I hope you enjoyed it.

What triggered this?! He was okay! He was fine! He was a teenager! He was okay, he was okay!

All he did was try his best and here he was, he collapsed on his bedroom floor with a choked sob as his memories caught up with him. His knees hit the carpet, his hands balled it in his fist as he bent his head to the floor.

It's the anniversary! Do you remember? Shall I show you?

No! Please, no... No please- Variations of pleas, all things he had said before. All things that never worked. It was too late, the memories were in his head like a marathon. The marathon with Izuku.

Izuku.

Where is he, huh? He knows what today is. He's gone. - The demon cackles evilly, toying with Katsuki's emotions and taking pleasure in his pain. -Don't you want to come play with me? See the side of the world that's true? I know the truth, see, I know Izuku is somewhere ignoring this day.

Katsuki's lungs felt like they would puncture with the pressure being put on them, his heart beating faster and faster. Breathes coming short. Hyperventilating.

Let's relive the memories.

"No." He cried, body shaking.

She took your hand, she dragged you into the park. She had such a sweet smile, warm hands and such beautiful eyes. Such a beautiful day. What happened then?

"No, please." Katsuki whispered hoarsely. He couldn't handle reliving it but he had no choice. As the voice described it he saw it clearly.

Then she let you play. A solid alibi, right? Let you play with Izuku. What did you and Izuku play?

His vision blurred, throat constricting as a small whimper left him.

You played tag! That's it. You played tag and just as you hid in the bushes you waited for him to find you but someone else came through the bushes. She told you not to worry, she was there to help you win! Oh, how naive you were. In a spot where no one could see you.

He crawled to the bathroom, body against the cool tile and tears falling against it with a pitter patter. His stomach churned.

She spoke to you. Praised you. You felt uncomfortable, didn't you? You laughed nervously and were about to leave, saying you had a game to finish. But she grabbed your wrist, the left one.

Katsuki looked to his left hand, the faded scars on his skin. The healing of a month, the skin no longer red and infuriated. He lifted his wrist to his face, tears streaming down his face.

Her nails gripped your skin, it stung. You remember her pushing you.

In a sudden moment Katsuki felt disgusted, the skin on his wrist feeling like spiders and ants crawling against it. He felt squirmish and filthy. That part of his skin burned, itched.

He grabbed the razor.

She told you to relax, you were convinced you could trust her. She told you to. She was family! She told you how beautiful you were, how she wanted to see more.

He let out a small cry, but not because of the cut, he didn't even feel the blade he was so numb. He cried out, out of fear. The fear and disgust and anger with what had become of him.

You told her to stop

Another gash.

She wouldn't leave you alone.

More blood spilt.

You got saved though. Out of some freak miracle, before she could go all the way to hurt you what happened?

"Izuku." Bakugou spoke with a strained tone, his voice cracking as he called out the name again. It fell out of his mouth as freely as the tears did from his eyes. "Izuku did, Izuku. Izuku..."

Exactly. She played it off but Izuku knew, he knew and you never did know how he did. But he helped you up. He let you sleepover at his house. He told your mom. You never would have done it one your own.

"Kacchan." A knock at his door, an anxious one followed by an anxious tone. "Kacchan, please open the door."

"Izuku!" He held back the louder cries that wanted to escape him. The door banged open, the sound echoing throughout the empty bedroom. Izuku looked around just as the door to the bathroom slammed shut. Despite having called out he lodged his body behind the bathroom door so that Midoriya couldn't open it. "Izuku please don't."

"Katsuki, I won't be mad."

"I'm weak." He cried, knees coming up to his chest as he held his dripping arm.

"No you're not."

"Yes I am! I'm disgusting. Weak. No one will love someone like me who- who..." He stammered, not wanting to let out the word. He couldn't let out the pain. All this pain. He wanted it to go away. He wanted to be free.

He wanted it to end.

"Katsuki, you're perfect."

"She said that too! She..."

"She's gone. She's never coming back!" A silence. "I won't let her come back."

There was no one to interfere with Katsuki grabbing the razor and just... He let out a small gasp, a gasp for air. The door pushed against his back but he wouldn't let Izuku in. Wouldn't let him see the carnage, the blood on the counter, the floors, the walls, the sink. It was falling like a river, almost amazing how fast it dropped.

He wanted to make the thoughts stop. The whirring, the loud banging. The yelling. He lunged, grabbing the blade, he had it to his throat, he was so close. He could taste the bittersweet chill of the metal on his neck but right before he could do anything, always right before something bad happened, always there-

Izuku grabbed his hand, stopping him so abruptly. So quickly. The blade dropped with a clatter, on the tile and just as Bakugou tried to run for it Izuku held him in his arms, pulling him back.

"No! Izuku, no, no, let m-"

"No." Midoriya's voice was tight, the fear in his eyes not being noticed by the blonde who was so focused on the blade. He struggled in Izuku's grasp before giving up all together, collapsing against him with a hysterical cry. Izuku leaned against the wall, sliding them both down to the floor as he held back his own tears. If he was a second later, Katsuki could have...

He held back his own tears, looking up to the ceiling as the blonde cried against his shoulder. He held him closer, rubbing his back and murmuring, not evn noticing his words as they tumbled out.

"It's okay. I got you, baby. It's okay. I'm here."

And Bakugou cried until he no longer could, tears running dry and eyes drooping closed.