The Endgame and Mischief

THE CHECKMATE

These are how it all started...

I was raised in a household where there's this invisible rule...crucial yet holds a lot of power and grace.

If you want something, bend your back and work for it.

Despite of our name, connections, money, and blood...their blood, we need to strive hard and manufactured sweat, like we're contradicting gravity, building a balance towards the house of cards.

In an early age, I have this little acceptance of who I am in this family, what is my role or why I am here, what're the responsibilities that're task under my name. So I haven't really thought of what are the things that I desire the most, the things that if I laid my eyes on, my own rules will collapse, or that'll made my heart throbbed abnormally, or give my skin heat, or my muscles to tight on the sensation of the idea to touch it.

I was abandoned. Neglected. Worthless.

And when you're deprived of everything, you'll cherish even the sight of how the ultra violet light caressed your skin.

I have food, water, roof, warm clothes...and family.

I haven't really thought of where is the need of something else, because I already have those. The five year old boy in the Orphanage, leaning on his bed, while palms across his chest, praying silently...

"One Mama, one Papa...and a rubik's cube, Papa Jesus, and I'll be humble..."  I whispered back then in the middle of the night.

As if the clouds move and doves gives me an announcement, when a steal day from a ruthless summer that year, when for the first time in forever, someone hugged me...a hug from a mother, telling me we're going home.

Home. Andrew. Josephine. Family.

They give me warm in a Christmas day, they molded me into something that made me fit from all the misfits I have in my little life. The hollow abandonment on my chest, they filled it with love and concerns, driving me into who I am today.

That day when they took me out on that haunted Orphanage, I made an oath, that I will choose them again and again, like how they choose me in the middle of my abandonment.

I am contented. Was.

Until one day on the commencement of Cruel summer. One afternoon in the middle of casual day...when those brown universe, defined firmly the loneliness that's still lives in me.

"Pasensya na Sir," anang ng Guard ng eskwelahan na ito. "Pero nandiyan kasi si Principal kapag nakita niya na pinapasok kita na walang pass ako malilintikan,"

Kinamot ang kaniyang batok ay naghalo sa kaniyang mukha ang pagkadismaya, hiya, at hindi alam na gagawin.

"Pero kasama po ako sa isa sa mga School na magseseminar mamaya," anang ko, ang manipis na pawis ay inilatag na sa aking noo ng araw. "Kailangan po kasi ako doon,"

Muling dismayadong umiling ang gwardiya. "Pasensya na Sir, bawal talaga. Tawagan niyo nalang po 'yung kasamahan niyo sa loob, nang makompirma ko,"

Tumango ako sa guard bago mahinang magpasalamat.

It is the season of Goodbyes. Graduation and Congratulations.

Dahil nasa Kalagitnaan na ng Marso ay marami ang mga High School Students ang magtatapos, kaya naman ay siyang pag dayo nina Andrew at kaniyang mga staff sa bawat eskwulahan upang mag imbita ng mga estudyante na maaring mag enroll sa kabubukas pa lamang nilang branch ng Senior High School sa Naga.

Bahagyang pumagilid ay siyang pagsilong ko sa Guard house.

"Flash," panimula ko nang sagutin niya ang aking tawag. "Sunduin mo ako sa Guard house, dalhin mo ang ID pass mo, hindi ako pinapapasok,"