Without You (gxg)

Part 1- High School

A/N from 3/8/23: Thank you so much for the reads!! Means the world. I wanted to address the lack of spacing in this story. This story was one of the first I wrote on Wattpad, when I didn't know spacing was a thing to do so you could comment on a specific sentence. Thank you so much for understanding 🫶🏻
"How was that for you?"
Carter walked around to where I was sitting on the edge of his bed in my underwear.
"Oh- it was good." I gave him a small, somewhat forced smile.
"Did you cum?" he stood in front of me in his basketball shorts and no shirt on.
In my head I rolled my eyes. But instead I said, "Yes. When you went down on me."
Liar.
"Good." he grinned at me, leaned down, and gave me a kiss.
He then sat next to me on his bed. "I wish summer wasn't fucking ending."
"Same here, but at least this is our last year of high school. Then we never have to go back again."
"College will be like an endless summer anyway." Carter grinned.
Another internal eyeroll.
I stood up from his bed, grabbed my t shirt and shorts and put them on.
"You headed home?" he asked me.
"Yeah. It's getting late, and we have school tomorrow." I said.
"It's not like you're going to sleep anyway, my little insomniac." Carter stood up and kissed me on my forehead. "Let me walk you out."
I blasted rock music on my way back home from Carter's. I always have this slightly off feeling whenever I leave his house, and it's almost like the music drowns that out for me.
It was a little after 11 PM when I pulled up to my house. I live in a newer model townhome with my mom, stepdad, Juan, and little sister, Jade. My mom, Amber, is actually also my stepmom who adopted me when I was 12.
She was up in the living room watching some Real Housewives show when I walked in. She turned around and looked at me. "A little late for a school night, don't you think?"
"Ugh. Don't remind me it's a school night." I said, and went to go sit next to her on the couch.
"One year left and you're free, my girl." she said, and then looked at me, "Nice sex hair."
I self consciously smoothed down my hair. "Sorry." I said, feeling myself get red.
"Don't be sorry. Just don't get pregnant. I don't want you going through what I went through."
My mom had my older stepsister, Blake, when she was 17. Blake is 28 now, making my mom 46. But she has a very young, playful way about her.
"That's what my IUD is for." I said, getting up from the couch and heading to the steps.
"Only 99% effective!" my mom called after me.
I changed into an old t shirt and boy shorts when I got up to my room and shut off the lights. I laid down in bed and attempted to close my eyes. I just wanted to get the first day of school over with tomorrow.
But per usual, my body was tired but my mind was not. I've tried Melatonin. CBD. Doesn't help. My mom won't let me bring weed into the house due to both my birth mother and fathers addiction. I scrolled on my phone for a while. Until I realized I had to be at school in 4 hours.
I then did the only thing that sometimes puts me to rest. I typed in the thing on Google that always brought me an immense amount of shame. Girl on Girl videos. When I had a video ready I slid my hand down my boy shorts and masturbated until I actually came for the first time that night.
Next thing I knew, my alarm was going off. Guess that worked.
I stood in front of my full length mirror hanging from my door and decided I didn't really give a fuck about what I looked like my first day of senior year. My light blonde, wavy hair hadn't been washed in two days, so I sprayed some dry shampoo everywhere. I only put on a little bit of mascara around my hazel eyes and some concealer on a few acne spots. I then slid on a black v-neck t shirt that only showed a tiny bit of cleavage and a pair of black shorts I would wear to the gym. I wasn't trying to impress anyone.
I went downstairs to find my mom and Jade at the kitchen table eating breakfast. My mom was dressed in her usual all black salon attire. Jade, my twelve year old half sister, had on a black t shirt that was cut off by her bellybutton and a pair of high waisted jean shorts. Her long, dark hair was straight and down and she had on more makeup than me. For seventh grade.
"I think Jade is the one you're going to have to worry about getting pregnant." I said.
Jade glared at me. "At least I don't look like I'm going to the gym for my first day of school."
"That's because I don't care." I said, "I don't care about school. The people there. Impressing anyone."
"I know you're not planning on going to college, but at least get C's in your classes." my mom said to me.
I got in my car and made my way to my best friend- Priya Singh's- house to pick her up. Her parents don't let her drive yet- the basically don't want to give her any form of freedom.
When I picked her up she got into my car- my stepdad's old red Toyota Corolla that he passed down to me- and she had on a white button up with her dark wash jeggings. I was waiting for her to take off the button up. And she did right when I drove away, revealing a black tank top that was tucked into the jeans- showing off her D cups.
"Damn, girl. Really showing them off today." I laughed as I drove to school.
"Why not show them off now that we are seniors?" Priya said the word "seniors" in a sing song style voice.
"I just want to get this year over with." I said.
"Of course you do." Priya looked at my outfit, "You didn't want to dress up in your usual cute attire?"
"I wasn't feeling it. I wanted to be comfortable." I said.
Priya turned down my music and looked at me with her big brown eyes. "What's wrong?"
"I'm just really tired, Pri."
"Okay, what else?"
I sighed, "I don't know. I think I may have to break up with Carter. Something just feels off."
Priya nodded, "If you do, then you know I support you no matter what. But just think about it."
I was glad that now that I was a senior I had an actual designated parking spot. When Priya and I got out of the car and walked into the crowded, stuffy building that was my high school- I was immediately filled with dread. Summer, come back.
"It sucks that we don't have our first class together but I'll see you next period." she said as we stood together by the steps on the first floor. At my 5 foot 2 stature, Priya stood 4 inches taller than me at 5'6. With her smooth brown skin and long, silky dark hair plus her boobs on show- she was getting stares, especially from younger guys.
"Right, at least we will fail math together." I laughed.
"I'll see you next period, okay?" Priya smiled at me, and then walked up the steps.
I was left to walk to my English class on the first floor. As I walked, I saw I had a text from Carter. It said:
See you in third period :)
I texted him back a simple smiley face. Carter and I had our History class together.
I realized as I was walking to my first period class that I was just feeling down and like I had nothing to look forward to my senior year. I didn't know what it even was that had me feeling down- but I was feeling it in every part of my body. A dullness.
I walked into my English class with Mr. Hall and my eyes were immediately drawn to a girl sitting in the back row of the class. I realized even that I had stopped dead in my tracks at the classroom door.
I kept looking at her as I made my way to the back row.
Should I sit next to her?
There were plenty of empty seats. And I didn't want to look weird- so I left one space between us. But as I walked closer and closer to where she was, I felt my body get warmer. She wasn't even looking at me, yet I was drawn to her.
I sat down at the desk, the coolness of the seat on my legs. I dropped my bag with a thud to the ground- louder than intended.
And it must've startled her because she looked over at me. And when I locked eyes with her, that's when I felt it-
The spark.