Without You (gxg)

Part 46- Present Day

Living with Noelle was going quite well. I know sometimes people say when you move in with someone it can make things worse- but with Noelle, I felt as if it made us stronger.
Sure, there were differences. She was a compete neat freak- which was something I knew, but I could see it even more now that we lived together. I, on the other hand, didn't care about clutter. Noelle also needed time after work- which she still wasn't a big fan of- to unwind. Meanwhile, I wanted to talk and hangout immediately. But I had to learn to give her that time.
However, being able to live my everyday life with Noelle was priceless. She truly felt like my life partner. This is something that I knew I wanted in high school- but couldn't quite fathom it. And now I was living it.
Our 23rd birthdays rolled around, and we decided to have a night in the city- like we did 5 years prior on our 18th birthdays- except now we could afford to stay in a hotel that was a bit more fancy.
Noelle chose a really nice sushi restaurant for us to have dinner at. It was absolutely delicious, and we were really enjoying our time. It still felt like we had the same amount of excitement and passion as we did back when we were eighteen, but we were now more mature, level headed. Knew we were each other's future.
Yes, we were planning on getting married- and we were basically "engaged". But it still honestly didn't quite feel real. We had kept it to ourselves to- considering it had happened at Priya's wedding.
After dinner, Noelle and I walked in a nearby park by Rittenhouse Sqaure. We walked hand in hand. It was a semi crowded, cold, Thursday night outside. We had both taken off the whole weekend to be able to spend it together.
"I think you're going to like what I have on under my dress." I said to Noelle as we walked together.
Noelle raised her eyebrows and smiled at me, "Oh, is that so?"
"I sure hope so." I said.
Noelle then paused and then said, "Okay. I know we've already technically gotten engaged. But I want to make it official."
She then got down on one knee.
I smiled at her.
"Harley Eve Edwin, I know you already said yes. But I want you to truly know how much I love you. You're the only woman out there for me- and I want to show you that for the rest of our lives."
She then pulled a velvet box out of her coat pocket and opened it.
"So once again, will you marry me?"
The ring was beautiful. It was a simple, square diamond. Not too flashy. But also very sophisticated and delicate. It was...beyond what I could've ever imagined.
Seeing Noelle there with the ring- it really made me feel like the past years without her were worth it. If only I could've gone back and told twenty year old me things would be like this. But then again, not knowing if this would happen or not, only made it sweeter. And more special.
"Yes. Again. Yes, of course!" I said to Noelle, and she stood up, slid the ring on my finger, and we kissed. I noticed people around us smiling. It felt nice that there were no homophobes heckling.
I knew that spark that I felt when I saw Noelle my first day of senior year meant something. And now we were "officially" engaged.
"I love you." I said to her.
We went to my parents house that weekend. Before I could even say a word my mom said, "What the hell is that gorgeous sparkly thing on your ring finger?"
"Are you engaged?" Juan smiled at us.
I nodded, and they both came over and hugged us.
"Welcome to the family! Officially!" my mom said to Noelle. "Oh, I'm so happy for you two."
Blake and Brianna were equally as happy. Jade was at college, but we FaceTimed her and told her the news.
"We actually got engaged- technically- a couple of months ago." I said to everyone as we ate dinner.
"You did? Why didn't you say anything?" Juan asked.
"Well, it was pretty informal. And it happened at Priya's wedding. We didn't want to steal her thunder. And we wanted it to feel more official, I guess." Noelle said.
"I get that." Brianna nodded, "Weird things can happen at weddings. For instance, I left mine to go be with this one." she smiled at Blake.
(Go read "What We Could Never Be" if you haven't! ❤️)
"Are you serious?" Noelle looked at Brianna.
"Fortunately and unfortunately. God, I can't believe that was around 10 years ago. But yes. I was supposed to get married to this girl- Sydney- and I just knew that I had to be with Blake. It was really idiotic of me to wait until I was literally about to walk down the aisle- but it all worked out." Brianna said.
"That it did." Blake smiled.
"That's crazy!" my nephew ,Oliver, who was now 10 years old said.
"Don't do something like it." Brianna grinned at him.
"Do you think you'll have a big or small wedding?" Blake asked us, eating a forkful of cilantro lime chicken that Juan cooked.
I looked at Noelle, "We haven't really discussed it yet. But I think something small would be more suited for us?"
She nodded, "Completely agreed. I can't see us having some huge wedding with tons of people. Just something small and intimate sounds great."
"Would you want to have it soon or in the future?" Juan asked us.
"We are thinking sometime in the fall. Maybe like October?" Noelle said.
"We will have to get to planning!" my mom said, "I'd love to help."
"Of course." I said to my mom.
"And if I could be so honored- I would love to walk you down the aisle." Juan said to me.
For a moment, I thought about my dad. My biological dad. I saw his face in my mind. And I couldn't help but wish for a moment that he had made it out of his addiction- and that he could walk me down the aisle. But I had someone amazing who now could.
"Of course." I said to Juan, "I would love that."
Noelle squeezed my hand from under the table. Now that she had lost her mom- I knew she understood even more. And when I met my moms gaze- I knew she could tell what I was thinking about.
After dinner, I helped her clean up in the kitchen- just the two of us.
"Juan is thrilled that you are going to have him walk you down the aisle." she said to me.
"I'm really happy about it as well. I honestly thought for a long time it would be you walking me down the aisle. And I love you- but it's nice to have a man do that." I said.
"I know you don't have the greatest memory of your father, Harley. But I do- considering I was married to him for a while. And while yes, he honestly wasn't the greatest guy- he has his demons though- I know one thing. And I hope you don't mind me telling you." my mom said.
"Sure. You can tell me." I looked at her.
"He loved you. Very much. In the moments that he was with you- when he wasn't fucked up or out of it- I never saw such happiness in his eyes as when he was spending time with you. And he would tell me he wanted to get sober- for you. It pains me that he never got to see you grow up. But I know he is probably kicking himself whoever he is now for not doing so." my mom said.
I didn't even realize that I had tears running down my cheeks until my mom hugged me.
"Oh, honey. I didn't mean to make you upset." she said.
"I'm not upset. I just- I don't think about it tons. I don't really let it enter my mind. But I wish that he got sober. I really do." I said.
"He would be so proud of you, Harley. I am so proud of you." my mom said, "You are one special girl. And it has been the biggest blessing to be able to raise you. When I got that phone call- that Ryan and your mom passed- and that none of his family was obliging to get you- I knew in that moment you were my daughter. Sure, I didn't give birth to you. But you're my daughter."
I gave my mom a long hug. "Look, I don't know if this is a lot to ask- but please be a mom to Noelle also? She never had one. Even when her mom was alive."
"You can count on me." my mom said.
On the ride home from dinner, Noelle asked me if I was okay. "You're quiet." she said.
"Just thinking. My mom brought up my biological father. It always puts me deep in thought." I said.
"Now that I've lost my mom- I understand that deep thought." Noelle said, and put her hand on my knee, "All I know though- is that I'm so lucky to have you be my family."
"Same here." I smiled at her.
But little did I know what was to come.