Without You (gxg)

Part 21- The Years In-Between

Empty.

If I had to describe how I was feeling, it was completely empty. I would talk to Noelle every chance I got, but with her being gone, it felt like a part of me was gone. I felt as though it was borderline unhealthy how lousy I was feeling that she was away at college. Like I needed to pick myself up and just live my life. 

I was having even more trouble sleeping. I would stay up far past when I would say goodnight to Noelle, most of the time on Facetime. Tylenol PM and Benadryl had become a part of my nighttime routine, and after a few weeks I felt like I could not sleep without it. My body would feel exhausted, but my mind was just running. 

I knew it was more than just worrying that Noelle and I were going to break up because of the distance, it was this anxiety and sadness that I just could not shake. Noelle and I overall though were doing fine, even with her being away. Even with me still worrying about her roommate, Elena. 

I spoke to her one night when Noelle and I were on Facetime together. She had walked in the room and Noelle said to her, "Elena! Come say hello to Harley!" 

Which she did. She came over to where Noelle was and smiled and said hello, and chatted for a bit with us. I do not know if it was because of my pre-conceived notions already, or if it actually was the case- but she seemed to be putting on a fake nice front. Just a feeling I got- and I usually always trust my gut. 

I was always exhausted for school because of the sleep medications I was taking. But one good thing was- I was loving school. And in the weeks that had gone past, I had already found a friend in Olivia Arnold- the girl who I met at orientation with Noelle. We seemed to stick together like glue and I was already considering us to be close friends. We would hangout after class and get coffee and we also worked together. She got me a job at Ulta- where she worked. I was only working part time, three evenings a week, and I overall did not like retail and having to talk to so many people, but I enjoyed being able to spend time with Olivia. Olivia was extremely down to earth, honest, and the kind of person that made you feel important when she was talking to you. 

I hadn't seen Priya yet. I missed her like crazy as well, but I couldn't bring myself to go down to where she went to college and visit her yet. My life was just passing me by- and I hardly had the energy. But at the end of September, she called me and demanded that I come visit her that weekend. 

"Look, I know how you are feeling. And I really think that you coming to visit me for a night would really help you out. We can go out and have some fun." she said to me as I was driving home from work. It was a Wednesday night. 

"I don't know, Priya. You know I love you, but I do not feel in the mood to go out." I said. 

"Then we don't have to. We can hangout in my dorm room, whatever you want. Harley- I am worried about you. It's like the life has been sucked out of you." 

I sighed, "Fine. I'll take the train down to you after school on Friday."

"Don't sound so excited." Priya chuckled. 

Noelle called me soon after and I told her I was going to be visiting Priya down in the city where she went to college. 

"I am glad you are. I think it'll be good for you." Noelle said. She was walking to her night class. 

"That's what Priya thinks too." 

"And then when you visit me next month I think you will feel even better." Noelle said. 

I was going to be visiting Noelle for the weekend the second week in October. I had already told my instructors that I needed off that Friday in advance.