Without You (gxg)

Part 32- The Years In-Between

I worried a lot about Allie. It clouded a lot of the positive things that happened to me over the next months as well. Even when good things were happening- I worried about Allie. If she was going to do something to herself. Like getting a job at a salon as a colorist. After I "graduated" from my internship, I decided I didn't want to work there. I learned a lot, but I wanted a salon that was fresh and modern. So, I came across a salon about a half hour away- it was called Fantasy Hair- and the owner of it was a 25 year old woman named Tessa. We got along very well in the interview, and she hired me the next day. I was now living my hair dreams- doing crazy hair colors on people and I also learned how to do eyelash extensions- which was providing extra to my income.
Which was great- because right before my 21st birthday, Olivia and I moved into an apartment together. It was a two bedroom, one bathroom apartment in a building that was a bit run down, but it was what we could afford. Living with Olivia was actually really nice- I was nervous at first to live with my friend, but we were getting along totally fine. We both were very busy with work. Olivia got out of the hell salon she was interning at- and she also started dating this guy- Josh Montgomery. She had cut his hair, and they hit it off. He was 24 years old and a Nurse, and she really seemed to be into him. After her lousy ex-husband, that was what she needed.
Josh would come over with his friend, Gabriel Santiago, sometimes. It was odd- because I found myself with this small crush almost on Gabriel. He was tall, had tanned skin and dark curly hair. I thought I was pretty secure in my sexuality- but Gabriel was someone that I found to be attractive. I was feeling a bit confused about it.
One night, after Gabriel and Josh had left, Olivia said to me, "You know...I hope you don't mind me saying this...but I think Gabriel has a little thing for you."
"Even though he knows I like girls?"
Olivia and I were in our kitchen, sipping on some wine leftover from the night.
"He does. And he is respectful of it, do you agree?"
"I do. But it's weird. I like...am slightly attracted to him?" I admitted.
"That's okay." Olivia said, casually.
"But I really do consider myself to be a lesbian."
"Babe, sexuality is fluid. You can like who you like- no labels. If you're attracted to Gabriel, that's no big deal."
"I don't think I would ever date him. I really do only want to date women. But I find myself feeling...sexually attracted." I said.
"And once again, that's okay. If you want to fuck him, I'm sure he wouldn't say no." Olivia chuckled.
"Hm. Maybe I'll think about it." I said.
Besides worrying about Allie, I of course would still think about Noelle. I'm sure she was happily married to Elena. I bet they were living on campus together. Enjoying the married life. The thought still made me just flat out upset. Thinking about Noelle being married. And the fact that I would definitely have to move on- and never had a shot with her again still made me feel slightly sick to my stomach.
On my 21st birthday, Olivia and I went down to Temple University so we could go out with Priya. Priya was still dating Raj- and she asked if it would be okay if he came with us. I said it was fine- and Olivia could even bring Josh if she wanted to. Josh agreed to come along- as long as he could bring Gabriel too. Which I said was totally fine.
So the six of us went out to bars. I was the last of everyone to turn 21- so while it was a new experience for me, everyone else had been to bars before.
I wore a little black dress and straightened my hair. My hair, which was now a very light shade of blonde. While I did crazy hair colors, I preferred to keep mine very simple. I usually was not one for wearing tight clothes- but it was my 21st birthday. Fuck it.
All day for some reason I was thinking of Noelle. Wondering if I would maybe get a happy birthday text. Thinking about how her birthday was so close. But I realized I had to push those thoughts out of my mind. For good.
I noticed at the bars, Gabriel was looking at me. And I hated to admit it in my head, but I thought he looked attractive. He had on a simple black t-shirt and jeans.
"Let me buy you a drink, birthday girl." he said to me at one of the bars we went to.
"I'm not going to deny that." I said to him, "Thank you."
"You look really nice, by the way." he said to me. We were standing by the bar. The other four were standing together, in their couples.
"So do you." I said to him.
Gabriel got us drinks, and we clinked the plastic cups together. "Cheers." he said, "To you turning 21. I can't believe that was three years ago for me."
"You're an old man." I laughed.
"Hey, I take offense to that." he laughed too, "Man, my 21st birthday fucking sucked. My ex-girlfriend made it miserable. She thought I was flirting with the bartender. When I was literally just getting a drink!"
"Possessive people like that suck." I said, "Not trying to assume your whole relationship."
"Oh no, assume away. Because that's what it was like."
"My last relationship...it was like that." I said, "She was definitely possessive. And same with my ex in high school. But that was when I was in like tenth grade. So hopefully he changed." I said, thinking of my first relationship.
"You have dated guys before?" Gabriel asked me, "I wasn't sure if you've only been with girls."
"No, I actually had three boyfriends in high school." I said, "But one...special girl showed me I was attracted to women." I said, feeling a pang in my chest, thinking of Noelle.
"I gotcha." Gabriel nodded, "That's cool. You like who you like."
"I do...I like who I like." I said, thinking of what Olivia said. No labels.
Gabriel was definitely giving me flirtatious vibes the rest of the night. And it wasn't creepy- because I was giving them back, oddly. It felt weird to be flirting with a guy- but it didn't feel wrong with him.
And by the time I hugged Priya goodbye, and Olivia, Josh, Gabriel, and I got back to the apartment- I would be lying if I said I wasn't feeling...sexually charged.
It was my 21st birthday. Fuck it.
Gabriel was going to sleep on the couch. It was around 2 am by the time we got back. Josh of course was going to be with Olivia. But I was feeling bold. So I asked Gabriel if he wanted to sleep in my room.
He raised his eyebrows. "Sure." he said.
We pretty much started hooking up the second he got into my bed. I don't even know exactly who initiated it. But as I got on top of him, and he unzipped my dress, he asked, "Is this okay? I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable at all."
"I appreciate you checking. But it's okay." I said.
So we carried on. And he said he wanted to give me a "birthday treat". Which was him going down on me. I always thought that guys didn't know what they were doing down there- but he did prove me wrong. The best I ever had was Noelle- no doubt. But Gabriel did make me feel good.
"We don't have to fuck if you don't want to. If you're not okay with it." he said.
"I want to." I said, "But I'm not on birth control...and I of course don't have any condoms."
"I have a couple in my wallet. Always better to be prepared." Gabriel said.
I hadn't been with a guy since Carter. Since I was seventeen. And it was weird. I'm not going to lie. Did I hate it? No. Did I like being with women better? Yes. But it made me feel free. And the worried and anxieties I had left my mind while we hooked up. Would I do it again?
I don't know.

A/N: I just wanted to say that this story is 100% still going to be femalexfemale. I added this in there as part of Harley's story though- I know accepting your sexuality at different points in your life can be tough. And it does change as we grow. And I wanted to show that. Gabriel isn't going to be a big part of the story- but a storyline involving him is a bigger part. Just wanted to add that in :) thank you so much for reading. I promise I won't be torturing Harley for too much longer 😅