Without You (gxg)

Part 8 - High School

I felt as though I was in limbo with my feelings. Noelle and I had been hanging out for weeks now- and I knew how much I liked her. But I was still feeling petrified.
I was confiding in Priya about this- about my hangouts with Noelle- how we would kiss and fool around with each other- yet I was still nervous to go all the way. But also how I felt a deeper connection with her than I did with anyone else I had ever been with. And already most people in general as well.
I would express these feelings to Noelle as well- and she was like the calm to my storm. She had been out since she was 14 years old- she said she was scared as hell, but she just came out. But she seemed to have a great understanding as to why I was scared to even admit my feelings.
I didn't want her to think that because I had this fear and apprehension I was going to just drop her. Because that was not the case at all. It almost scared me- how much I truly liked her.
I knew I needed to talk to someone who understood. The day before Halloween, my older sister Blake asked me to watch her 4 year old twins- my niece and nephew, Annie and Oliver. Her and my sister in law, Brianna, were going to be running errands all day- they were re-doing the bedrooms in their house. I happily agreed to watch my niece and nephew, and I knew that when Brianna and Blake got home, I was going to talk to them about what I was going through and my feelings for Noelle.
The whole time I watched Oliver and Annie I was apprehensive and slightly sick to my stomach. They kept me busy- especially wild little Oliver- but I still in the back of my head kept thinking about the hard conversation I knew I was going to have.
The two of them came home with a lot of small pieces of furniture for the rooms, and I helped them unload everything.
Blake and Brianna then went into the kitchen to start to make dinner. They asked me if I wanted to stay- but I had other plans- with Noelle. I told them I had made other plans.
"With Priya?" Blake asked me, simmering onions over the stove. She was making tacos- Brianna's favorite.
"No, not with Priya." I shook my head.
"Are you making more friends? That's always good." Blake said to me. She 29 but to me didn't look a day older than 21, with her long blonde hair and petite build. She wasn't my sister by blood, but we often got told we looked alike.
"About that...this person isn't exactly a friend." I started.
"So you're hanging out with someone you don't like?" Brianna raised her eyebrows at me. She stood next to Blake- taller than her, her blonde hair that she recently cut to her shoulders in a small ponytail.
I sighed, "No. I like her. A lot."
I saw Brianna glance at Blake for a split second, knowingly.
Blake turned around to look at me. "Are you trying to tell us something, Har?"
"I guess so? I honestly have no idea." I said, sure I was turning red.
"What's her name? Tell me about her." Blake gave me an encouraging smile.
"Her name is Noelle. Noelle Thompson. She just moved to the area. She's in my English class, and we've been hanging out for a little while now. She's just...awesome. And I know I like her- but I just can't accept it. It was like...I saw her the first day of school, and I just felt this spark. I hadn't felt something like that before." I said, "I'm sorry, I'm rambling."
"It's okay." Blake said, "You're just expressing how you're feeling. And believe me, I know how scary this can all be. You thought you liked guys for seventeen years and now suddenly this girls comes along and you have feelings for her."
"If you want my advice- and I know it's easier said than done- try to not overthink it. You like this girl. Go with it. Act on your feelings, and try your best to not deny them. You don't have to label yourself or figure out anything now. Just go with how you feel." Brianna said.
"And if you're nervous about how mom is going to react- she of course will be completely fine with it. I got the brunt of the homophobia back when." Blake shook her head.
"You do think she will be fine when I tell her? I'm going to have to." I said.
"Completely fine. She learned from her mistake of how she reacted with me." Blake said, "I didn't talk to her for over two years. She's not going to want that to happen with you. Also, that was over ten years ago. She's changed a lot."
"Bring this Noelle girl to dinner sometime, okay?" Brianna grinned, "I want to see what she's all about."
I knew I could count on Blake and Brianna to make me feel better.
Just go with how you feel.
When Noelle opened the door to her house that night after I drove over, I kissed her right away.
She looked slightly taken aback, "Hey." she chuckled, "What was that sudden burst of affection for?"
"Just going with how I feel." I said, and we went up to her room.
I still hadn't met Noelle's mom. She worked nights- but I was a little nervous for whenever I was going to meet her. I didn't know the full story, but Noelle didn't seem too fond of her mother.
I had met her two other brothers though. They were both perfectly nice- for teenage boys. I especially liked her youngest brother. He was a character.
"How do you feel after seeing your sister today?" Noelle asked me. We were sitting on her bed, facing each other.
"Better. I don't feel as pressured to try to label myself as something. And I think I'm going to tell my mom about you." I said.
I saw Noelle smile slightly, "You are? That makes me pretty happy, I have to say."
"I just hope she reacts well. I think she will." I said.
"And if she doesn't, you deal with that then. But I can't see why she wouldn't." Noelle said, "I've told my dad about you."
"You talk to your dad a lot?" I asked her.
"Almost every day. I do on my way home from school. I miss him." Noelle said. Then she looked up at me, eyes slightly wider. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to sound insensitive, since your dad isn't here anymore."
"You don't at all. You're allowed to miss your dad. You live over 7 hours away from him. And my dad was hardly a father. Same with my mother- I barely saw her." I said.
"Of course my mom is alive- but I feel the same way." Noelle looked down.
I put my hand on hers. "When are you seeing your dad again?"
"Thanksgiving I'm going to go to his house. Sure, it's kind of fucked up that he got remarried so soon after him and my mom divorced. But I still love my dad. And my stepmom is nice."
"Are your brothers going with you?"
"No." Noelle shook her head, "My mom would make them feel extremely guilty. Especially to my oldest younger brother. She seems to put more pressure on him."
"She shouldn't do that." I said.
"She does a lot of things she shouldn't do."
"Why did you move here with her? Of course I'm so glad you did. But why did you choose to not stay with your dad?"
"My brothers. They needed me. My mom is hardly a mom." Noelle said, and then she gave me a flirtatious look. "And I'm awfully glad I moved here now too."
I loved a little closer to her. "Is that so?" I asked her, playfully.
She moved a little closer to me. "Absolutely. I wouldn't have met this girl that I did. She's really sweet, funny, charismatic. Not to mention she's absolutely gorgeous."
I could feel myself blushing. "Oh yeah? What's her name?"
"Harley Eve Edwin. I think you might know her. You'd be lucky to." Noelle said. We were only inches away from each other. And she had her hand running down my waist.
I bridged the gap between us with my lips. And we sunk into a deep kiss. One that gave me, of course- those sparks.
I was falling. Hard.