Without You (gxg)

Part 43- Present Day

The summer had ended, and it was now Fall time- and Noelle and I decided that when my lease was up in December, I was going to move into her apartment. Olivia and Josh were planning on getting a townhouse together for their little family.
Toward the end of September, Noelle asked me if I could take a few days off work- she really wanted to see her brothers, her father, and stepmother.
"A road trip?" I asked her.
"A road trip." she nodded.
The first week of October we decided to go see them. Her oldest brother Ryan was a senior in college- where Noelle had went, at West Virginia University. Her brother Tommy was 19 and became an electrician, and her youngest brother was now in 11th grade. Crazy to think he was in 6th when I first met him.
This road trip was less upsetting to me than the last one we took when we were seniors in high school. Now, I wasn't dreading Noelle going off to college. We were finally together- for good. I didn't have that pit in my stomach I had last time.
"Do you think you could live in an area this rural one day when you own a house?" I asked Noelle as we drove through the nothingness that was near her fathers house.
"I don't want to live in the city- that's too busy. But I don't think I could live in an area this rural again. It was especially tough growing up gay here." Noelle said, "And I need more to do."
"Agreed. I need more things to do than around here. Though sometimes a nice, big house with you and a ton of land sounds nice." I smiled at Noelle, who was driving.
"You have a point. I could live anywhere with you." Noelle said.
"If you don't mind me asking- how did your dad feel when you got married?" I asked Noelle.
"He thought it was fast- which it was. And Elena puts on a really nice front. But my dad is pretty good at reading people. He could tell it wasn't right." Noelle said, "You know, one time- he wasn't thinking- he asked me about you in front of Elena. If I still spoke to you."
"He did not." I laughed.
"I got the silent treatment from Elena for the rest of the night. Even though the answer was no!" Noelle also laughed. Then she said, "I am glad I can laugh about these things now. At the time I definitely could not."
When we got to Noelle's fathers home, her whole family was there waiting for us. It was a little past seven PM, and Noelle and I were starving. Her parents had cooked a whole dinner for all of us to have.
"Harley! It's so good to have you back." Ed, Noelle's father, gave me a hug, and her stepmom, Mary, did as well.
"I follow you on Instagram." she said to me, "You are one hotshot stylist!"
It was crazy to see how much older Noelle's brothers had gotten- especially Kyle, the youngest. He had shot up to six feet tall and looked more like he was 21 than 17. Noelle told me that after their mom died, he had a very hard time. He started hanging out with the wrong crowd, was doing drugs, and just going off the rails. She said in the past year he had improved a lot, but still struggled with anxiety. I felt awful. He didn't deserve that. He was so young.
But he seemed very happy to see me. "I am so much taller than you now!" he laughed. 
We all sat down for dinner. Mary and Ed sure knew how to cook. I really loved being there with them- Noelle held my hand from under the table. As we ate, I couldn't help but notice she kept drinking beer after beer though.
Her dad must've noticed too because he said, "Hey Noey- this isn't a drinking competition. Slow down." he said it in a joking tone, but I could tell he meant it.
"This'll be my last one." Noelle grinned at him.
I was hoping her drinking wasn't something I had to worry about. That was a very sensitive subject for me- considering both of my parents were addicts and they died from a drunk driving accident.
I decided to bring it up to her when we got up to the bedroom and in our shorts and t shirts to sleep in.
"I want to mention something to you but I don't a a want to anger you." I said.
"You won't anger me. What's up?" Noelle sat on the bed.
I sat down next to her. "I worry about your drinking. Even if it is normal how you have been drinking, I wouldn't really know. Because I was just surrounding by it from my biological parents. That's all I remember from with they died. They left and I was just home alone for hours upon hours. I don't even know for how long. But then my stepmom came and told me they died in a drunk driving crash. Then she took me home."
"You've never really told me about that day." Noelle tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear.
"You know, I really wish that my biological mom and dad could've gotten the help that they desperately needed." I said, "I think about what their lives could have been. But the whole time I lived with the two of them when they got back together after my dad divorced my stepmom- all I could think about was that I wanted to be back with her. My stepmom was the only parent that had ever shown me actual love. Now my stepfather too. But my mom...I barely even remember her. She was hardly around. And my dad was just also not around too."
"You're the strongest girl I know, Harley." Noelle gave me kiss on the cheek, "I love you so much."
"I love you." I said.
"I can see why you're concerned about my drinking. I think I have become a bit too dependent on it to make me feel less anxious. It's like I just drink to drink now." Noelle said, "I will absolutely try to be much more conscious of it."
"Thank you. I just don't want anything to happen to you. Ever." I said.
"I know it's late, but do you want to go for a walk?" Noelle stood up, "We can look at the stars." she held out her hand.
I took it. "Let's go." I said.
Noelle and I walked outside and once again, like the last time I was here, the stars were unbelievable.
"Okay, maybe living in an area like this wouldn't be so bad. Being under the stars like this every night, with you. Priceless." Noelle said, looking up at the sky.
"It makes me really happy to be with you this time around here." I said, "Not crying about you going to college."
"I was also so fucking sad. I was trying to enjoy our time- but I was breaking down on the inside." Noelle said. "Now, it feels like we are free. And we can just really enjoy our time here."
"My eighteen year old self would be very happy with this. I wish I could go back and tell her things would be okay." I said, looking at the stars.
"Same here. That was almost five years ago...five years from now we will be almost twenty seven. That's crazy." Noelle said, "I know one thing though."
"What's that?" I looked at Noelle.
"You'll absolutely be my wife." Noelle said to me.
"And you'll be mine. No doubt." I smiled at her.
I was lucky. Really fucking lucky.