ILYSB (it hurts)

[𝟻𝟶] bitter adieu

PART 1

Josephine

I woke up in a daze, my shirt wet from too much sweating. I can smell barbecue and I stand up, walk down the stairs and went straight to the kitchen. My brother is there, standing, humming to a song I don't know while cooking something in the pan. It smells divine.

"Jonah?" I ask, not believing he's here. But he didn't answer and I walked closer and hugged him. He still didn't react and then I hear him gasping for air.

"Wombat, help me." He's reaching out to me even though I'm just beside him. His hands are bloody and his face pale white. I reach for the towels and put pressure on both of his wounds.

"It's not stopping, Jonah." I cry and scream but I feel like there's no voice coming out. 

"You should've been here." he whispers

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. But I'm here now, Jonah, stay with me." 

But the hard I pressed on his wounds, he's disappearing slowly from my sight until I'm alone in the kitchen, the barbecue cooking and I'm left with a hollow heart. 

I cry and cry endlessly until I fall asleep on the kitchen floor only. I open my eyes for a split second and Jonah's looking at me with his dead blue eyes.

I jolt awake and my eyes are suddenly wide open. The nightmares began when I started reading his journal but I don't know if that's what really caused it. I hear the voices downstairs and I don't want to even have human interaction right now. I'm not even sure if I can give a eulogy for my own brother. I can't even hold myself together.

Someone knocks on the door and I don't answer it. Hero stepped in, in his black suit, looking handsome as always. I should be needing my boyfriend, asking him for support at this time but no, I don't even want him near me. My brain is clouded with so many things. Pain, betrayal, sadness and anger. It's been three days and Jonah, finally will be put to rest. Of course, my parents are as busy as they can be, putting up a front of their perfect marriage. Was his mistress here? Blending in with everybody pretending to hurt for our family?

"Are you ready to come out?" Hero sat beside me and I shake my head. He kissed the top of my head and I lean into him.

"I hate people at this point." I mutter and he chuckles. It put a smile to my face. I know I'm thankful for him standing by my side because it's not that easy. He has problems of his own and he chose to support me.

"Someone made butter cookies better than yours." He teased.

"Huh? Really? And who would that be?" I looked at him and he smiles.

"Madison brought them over and waiting for you downstairs. Asking me if you're up to the butter cookies challenge."

I roll my eyes and I smooth down my dress. I'm not ready to face everyone and hear their condolences but I guess, I have no choice. Hero held my hand as we walk down the stairs and people looked at us. Looked at me. Maybe they're thinking, "what must it feel like to see your brother like that?". I can only imagine the questions in their head and worse, their pity towards me.

I see the black coffin placed and adorned beautifully with flowers around it. I see Madison and give her a weak smile. I walk to the casket and stared at the body lying inside of it. My brother's eyes are closed but in my mind it's wide open, staring blankly at me.

"I'm so sorry for you loss, Jo." Madison rubbed my back and I heard that phrase for a hundred times today and I'm revolted by it but I don't show it.