ILYSB (it hurts)

[𝟸] that Aussie girl

Hero, ten years old and nine months

I really couldn't quite figure out why my Mom would approve of me staying in America and even attending school here. I know her and Dad's divorce has been affecting our family so much but I really wanted to be there for her. Along with my siblings but instead, I'm here shoved in a foreign country. With no friends, faceless strangers and even shitty food. Who would even put cheddar in a macaroni? I already miss bangers and mash. I throw the piece of bread in the bowl and planned to eat a burger on my way home.

I pick up a piece of chip from my food tray when Sam asked about London for the nth time. Her shrill voice is ringing in my ears like some highly amplified guitar out of tune. And she can't form any single sentence without using OMG first. I officially hate America.

"Do you know the Queen?" she said, twirling her hair between her fingers. It doesn't look cute at all.

Oh God, not this question again.

She's distracted by Cheska who showed her phone and they talk about endless nonsense things, giggling like maniacs. Nile, Booker and Sean already invited me to a mini skateboard game in the park just north of where I currently live. Of where I live temporarily. It's what I want to think about right now.

I glance around and I noticed that Australian girl who happily introduced herself to me this morning is just at the farther end. Eating her sandwich neatly. I've never seen someone so neat looking. Her braids are neatly tied, the end with something blue. Wait, are those fishes? She's wearing a fish ponytail? She's so weird and so nice, it irritates me. I shake my head and finished my food, still not happy about my new life and apparently new friends her at Trinity.

I glance at her table again and caught her looking at me. I smirk at her and she narrowed her eyes at me. I couldn't help but smile at how affected she is. She seems to be nice but I'm done with people pretending to be nice. They're either really nice or too good to be true. My parents were nice but eventually they became two different people. And I don't even trust anyone after that.

"Hey, who's that girl over there?" I already knew her name but I wanted to know what she is in this school. Or is she known for something?

Booker was the first one to answer. "That's Josephine. She's really smart and nice. She helps me with homework sometimes."

That means Booker also live near or just around our neighborhood, good thing he doesn't know I live there yet. I just want this arrangement to be over so I can go back to London and never go back here.

"Yeah, Jo's a sweet one. She's mostly just quiet." Nile said while Sean just nods his head. This girl is known for being nice and smart in this school. Good thing that's not my circle of friends, ever. I hate smart people. They end up acting superior than you are.

Sam and Cheska are still busy on their phone. I picked up my food tray and grabbed my bag. I dumped my food tray on the rack on the way out and decided to get some fresh air at the back. Fences surrounds the lot and cars lined up. Maybe some teachers owns it but I actually don't care. I look around and make sure no other human being is here and I pull out my pack of gums and my last pack of cigarettes. I got this from mom's purse just before I boarded the cab with Aunt Phoebe to the airport. Mom has always been a huge smoker but she always warned us off of it. I was always so curious what it felt like. I always see her angry and how her shaky hands lights the stick and like magic she's already calm down while smoking it. Maybe it will do the same to me.

Retrieving the newly bought zippo from my bag and pulled out a stick from the red box. Glide my thumb over the flint wheel the little sparks went off until the big flame came out. I put the cigarette in between my lips and I can already taste the bitterness of it. I inch my face to my hand that holds the zippo when someone speak behind me. My soul almost felt like it literally jumped out of my body.