ILYSB (it hurts)

[𝟸𝟷] cabin feels

Hero

It's almost night time and I'm thankful for the fact that no one followed me back here. Yet. I love the peace and I want silence more than ever. It's like every time I'm in that stupid house I have to be reminded of everything. I hate to be around people right now, specially my mother, and this is the best place I can drown my sorrows into. Sorrow might be a strong word but it's exactly how I feel.

I hear the scrunch of gravel from the distance and I look back, ready to give that person a piece of my mind. Then her face comes into view, a beanie on top of her head, her nose red from the cold, and her hair is not pink anymore.

"What do you want?" I ask, chugging the beer I bought with a fake ID in the nearest convenience store. Not that I can get away with it but obviously for that same reason.

"We cooked dinner and bought some cake. You might want to join us?" her voice, I hate to admit, makes me calmer than I usually am. And I hate, hate, hate it so much that she has this effect on me. I drink the beer and crunch the can with my hands, tossed it on the ground, completely ignoring her. I know she's still standing behind me and I don't plan to entertain her with any conversation anytime soon.

I pull on the beanie on my head and opened another beer bottle. I might have to finish off this 12 pack of beer alone. I can hear her walk away gracefully, like she's always done. She's always so finesse. Always looking so soft and moving so graceful. I hate to admit but I always wanted to touch her face because she looks glowing all the time. But the times I ever touched it was when she fell of her bike and when she tripped on a broken stair on her treehouse and skinned her cheek. It feels like it's been forever and in between we mostly fight or try to kill each other. So it must be forever.

I can hear the sound of boots on the gravel and I'm done for the day.

"Can you all just leave me be?" I shake my head and stare at the lake. Wishing whoever it is who wants to break my peace will just disappear in the wind.

"I know I'd find you here..." that familiar voice makes me jump out of my skin and I look back with wide eyes. Alexandria Fosters, family friend and borderline obsessive. It could be better if she doesn't have hallucinations of me being her husband for years now. It's equally terrifying and annoying. I keep myself from dramatically rolling my eyes. I pinched my nose and forgot my wound is still fresh and curse under my breath when it's still tender to my touch.

"Fuck!" I whispered.

"Your face looks -"

"Awful? I know..." I finished the sentence for her.

"No, I mean, yes." she giggled and I cringed. An annoying conversation with Josephine is a hundred times better than this.

Cold breeze hit my face and I bring the beer can to my lips. The seeping warmth in my belly and the slight buzz in my head keeps me company. This should be my place of peace, well, not anymore. Alex sat beside me, just a few feet apart but it still irritates me. She knows how to make her presence known.

"So, how are you?" Alex asked but I'm too buzzed with alcohol to even answer.

"Hero!" Josephine called from afar and that just made me sink into myself even more. These people can't leave me alone for real. I ignored her but I can also hear their laughter from where I'm sitting. I bet my Mom is so happy pretending, like she always do.

"I heard that's your girl." Alex mentioned while she threw a rock on the lake, making it bounce two times before it sinks in the water.

I'm too tired to even explain that bullshit to her so I opened another can of beer and chug it. I have one more left and I want more. Knowing my Mom and Phoebe will just indulge on wine tonight. Maybe I can buy something else downtown. Something stronger.