Yours - H.S

Chapter 14*

Trigger Warning: Mention of Eating Disorder

Bella's P.O.V:

As I'm lying in my bed while scrolling through my phone, it starts ringing. I notice that Kendall is calling me.

"Hello?"

"Bella! Where have you been? I haven't talked to you in ages!" Kendall exclaims.

"I've been at home like always, Ken. We talked last week. I miss you, though." I say, breathing out a laugh. She loves to over exaggerate.

"I missed you too Bels. But you're too busy with your new British boy toy, huh?"

"Maybe..." I say, smiling behind the phone.

"You have to tell me all about him... you didn't talk about him much even after he saved your life!"

"Sorry, Ken. Just come over and I'll tell you everything. Too much to talk about over the phone." I tell her, running my fingers through my hair.

That's one thing I've picked from Harry. He does it so much.

"Sure, bels. What time?"

"Does 8 work for you?"

"I'm free, I'll be there. Love you."

"Love you too." I hang up the phone, getting up from the bed to fix up the house a bit.

Kendall's been one of my closest friends since middle school. We talk to each other about everything, but I haven't had the chance to fully tell her about Harry. Maybe talking about it will help me decide on what to do about him.

I don't know if I heard correctly or whether it was a dream or something but I remember he was talking to me while I was half asleep. It was something along with the words of  "I care about you" but I don't know. He was very close to me last night and it was overall very intimate. I think that after he had said that, he brought himself in to cuddle with me. I remember feeling his arms going around me and it was almost as if he was hesitant to fully come close to me.

Everything is so confusing.

Last night when we were dancing in the kitchen he pulled away from me so fast, looking distraught. I don't know if I did anything wrong, maybe it was because I made myself too comfortable in his house? He was so tense the whole day after that, and it hurt my heart because I don't know what I did wrong. He knows he can always talk to me about anything, but he lied to me instead.

I like him a lot, and I think he has the same feelings back. I don't know if I can bring another man into my life yet, though. I don't think I'm ready. I want him so bad, but I can't bring myself to trust someone like that again.

October 12th, 2017

"Come here, I'm sorry Bella. You know I didn't mean it. I was just drunk, stop overreacting." Liam says, gesturing me to come closer to him.

I move a little bit closer to him but keep a distance. "I'm not overreacting, obviously I'm going to speak up when my boyfriend starts being bitchy towards me."

"Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me like that? If anyone's a bitch, it's you."

"See. You're doing it again and you're sober this time. You were so nice before, what happened?"

"You just piss me off."

"How? Why are you even with me? You can't even stand me let alone love me."  I tell him, trying to hold back my tears.