Jaylor / Taylor Swift One shots

Hiding scars !TW!

!TW! TW!Mentions of self harm. The entire short story is revolved around it. Please dont read if this is triggering. You can just skip this one :)

-----------------------------------------------------------Revision: I'm not sure if this is a great representation of it and if anyone has any details that are wrong or for me to change just lmk
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Taylor's POV

He came into my room again. I never minded his company. Oftentimes I was more lonely than I'd like to admit, but today was different. SUmmer was going to be the death of me. We have been dating since November. I've been able to hide this part of myself with long sleeves and whispers of "I'm just cold" if he ever got suspicious.

He is the most perfect gorgeous man I could ever ask for. I didn't want to ruin everything with this stupid secret no one ever seemed to understand.

I sat on the edge of the bed, continuously pulling down the sleeves of my hoodie to cover up my scars. Sweating profuosly was the option I was going to have to take. My relentlessness wasnt hard to notice. I just hoped he wouldn't say anything. I'd rather die than have him see me so vulnerable. Ironic isnt it? I already wanted to die.

He timidly made his way over to the edge of the bed. His hand grabbing my arm lightly to get my attention. I involuntarily flinched in response. " what's up with you?"

Being this close to him allowed me to smell the sweetness of his cologne. That intoxicating smell that was his signature scent.

"Nothing... just tired" I attempted to pull back, but he just kept his grip strong. He shouldn't care anyways. I was already enough of an an embarrassment as it was. Everybody said so. No matter where i looked these days it seemed like nobody wanted me around.

He softly cleared his through, pulling me back into reality.

" Clearly its something" He slipped his hands under my sleeves and delicately rubbed up and down my arms. A motion that was meant to be calm and loving instead made me agonizingly wince. Seeing my reacting he quickly withdrew his hands only making things worse. My sleeves pushed up, as he finally realized what had been going on. Regret was the only way I could describe a reaction like his. Now he knows I have bigger problems than just the media and my reputation. Things that would get me ruined if they ever got out.

No one ever understood. The few people that have ever found out either ignored it pretending it never happened as if that would make the torture dissapear. I had no reason to believe he would react differently so my reaction was monotone.

"It's not that big of a deal" I quickly rolled my eyes in an attempt to distract him. The sweat was sliding down my back at this point and i let out a shaky breath before trying to pry my way over to the window. Air. I needed air. He just dragged me back down to where I previously sat. I shouldn't be nerous of him hovering over me.

"It is a big deal... how could you say that?" HIs face contorted with sorrow as I watched the corners of his mouth drop into a frown.

I didnt think he'd care so much. " Don't you have your reputation to be concerned about?"

He shot me a dirty ,look at my statement.

"why'd you even come over? Did you just want a blow job? Lets just get this over with"

I pulled my body towards his. This was all men had wanted before from me. What I could do for them. How I could "please" them. I knew this routine all too well.

He pulled me closer. His hands finding their way up to the loose strands of my hair as he pulled my head back.

" I dont care about that. I care about you"

Please. He didn't have to lie to my face.

" Look at me Tay" My hair was being dragged backwards once again. "I care about you more than I could possibly say. Don't you think I would care if I saw that my girlfriend was hurting herself?"

"Why would you possibly care? It doesn't hurt you. Thats the whole point. Nobody ever cares. It's just what I do. I can't stop you don't have to pretend to be worried." I said starting sternly but ending at almost a whisper. The words hurt to even say.

He took a moment in silence. This is it she thought. He's going to leave me. I knew it.

As she turned away from him he took a deep breath and held her chin. Delicately turning her to face him. "Taylor" Then another pause. " I want you to hear this even if you never listen to another word I say after. I need to to know this." The look in his eyes was one i'd never seen before. It was actual pain. Not for himself but for me. Burning love and worry had completely overtaken him.

And so he began. " It takes two as intricate as you and me to fall into eachother knowing how difficult the jounrey will be. You have taught me that I want to live a life dedicated to the pursuit of love. Life is not impossible to go through alone, but it is sweeter and warmer not alone. The harder moments feel a little less unbearable on the psyche. I see so much of me in you. You're alive like me. And i know you're going to be ok and i know i am going to me okay and I knwo this because alive people know there's always more to life to be lived. More things to do and see and feel. Six months ago I'd never felt a love as powerful and blazing as the one I feel for you. I hope you take a piece of me and lodge it inside of you, so you always know this is the kind of love you deserve."

She sat there staring at him. Frozen. Trying to consume everything she had just heard. He... cared about her. He really cared. Her heart began to thaw and her eyes became blurry. In that moment everything came crashing down. All the walls she had built. The protection she had put up after the failed romances. The gates that guarded her soul now began to open. After the pain and lies. SOmething told her to trust this. Believe in love. This is true.

Her exterior broke down in sobs. And he held on tightly . Wrapping his arms around her fragile figure. Her tears engulfed her. All the years of torment were finally being felt, expressed in safety. As he felt her gasping for air instead of letting go he pulled her closer as if to give her any and all of his energy. He stroked her back and waved his fingers through her hair. Letting her get everything out. He knew how much it meant,

"We are going to figure this out Baby. I promise I will do everything I can to help. And in the places I can't we will get you the help you need. Anything and everything. I will turn the world over for you." He spoke in the most calming tone he could find. No judgment. No shame. Just pure and utter love.

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I hope this was well written. For anyone who has ever gone through anything similar you are so strong and I'm proud of you guys. I hope you can all find a "Joe" to help you through anything whether that be in another person or yourself.

If you have any criticism for this chapter please let me know as I've never been in that position so I would never want to be hurtful or offensive.

Thank you have a great day, week, and month.

*****Remember Taylor loves you *****