Jaylor / Taylor Swift One shots

I remember it All Too Well Pt.1

Part 13 WOOHOO!! Get ready for this one I added a few extra characters for the special number. It's kind of  long but worth it i promise😂

Tw: Mentions of suicide, depression, and just mental health in general.

ENJOY GUYS °·.♡.·°

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It was a late evening, I felt very lonely, after spending past couple days alone at home by myself. It was mainly because of a situation between my friends.

Few days prior, I hung out with Joe and Jack (Antonoff), they were my good friends. I also happened to have a crush on Joe, so did he, but I didn't know.

That day, we all headed to the bar, there met up with Gigi and Selena. As they all talked Joe and I both drunken danced in the middle of the dancefloor, which was unusual to both of us. Alcohol really did make us extroverts and professional dancers. I wasn't even thinking about anyone seeing us. Of course Joe and I had a little too much to drink, so we shared a kiss. Not a peck or so. It was a full make out session.

Though I was quite drunk, I was still pretty aware of everything. Panicked about the situation I stormed out of the bar immediately and avoided Joe or the guys, cause they saw it too, though they were happy for us. He tried to stopping me and chased after me, not wanting for me to wander in the streets at night. But I tried my best to run away from him.

He tried calling me couple of times, but I didn't answer. Gigi and Jack also tried reaching out to me, Gigi even was here, but I didn't open the doors and kept hiding in my room.

Days later they stopped calling and continued living their lives.

What was the point of trying to help a person who didn't want to get help.

I was alone. They were my only friends. The empty spot in my life started getting more and more noticeable.

The guilt ate me alive. 'Why did I have to run away from Joe? If he kissed me first, it means he likes me. Liked me', I thought.

The situation got even worse few weeks later. I felt abandoned, though it was me this time, who left everyone.
My mental health was falling apart. I either didn't have appetite or overconsumed the food I had, to ease my emotions. I missed my classes and slept all day and all night. And no one was there for me. Only food, music and silence.

On a lonely Saturday evening I felt so depressed and sad, that I felt like nothing was worth living anymore. Scrolling through Instagram I saw pictures of my friends, smiling happily. I was truly happy for them, but seeing them smile without me seemed like they never even needed me.

So I did a dumb decision. Dumbest decision ever. Looking at the handful of sleeping pills in my hand, I kept thinking 'take one or take all'. So I took one pill and swallowed it, even without the water. But then my intrusive thoughts gave me idea that taking the rest of 9 pills were a good decision. So I did it. It was a little more difficult to swallow them without water but I successfully did.

At first I was alright, I even thought it was a dream. But after I made myself a cup of green tea and came across the stairs ,I felt as if a knife pierced through the area between stomach and heart. It made me immediately drop the cup of hot tea on the ground and let myself fall on the cold tiles afterwards. The hot water and shattered pieces of the cup I fell onto, I didn't even feel it.

So there I was, sitting on the ground, resting my head on the wall, thinking it was my last minutes or hours. I began feeling more and more exhausted, sweaty and the pain in my stomach and heart was growing.

Regrets started flooding my mind. I didn't really want to die, I didn't even know why I took those pills. One thing was clear, I needed to call Gigi.

So I did it. My vision was blurred, I could barely see anything on the phone screen. Hoping it was Gigi, not my relative or any other contact, I tapped on the button 'call'

Moments later Gigi picked up the call... but wait... it wasn't Gigi... It was Joe. Oh no.

"Taylor... Hi!...Oh god you finally picked up... erm... listen... about that night I'm sorry....about it... I'm not gonna talk about it. I-I just wanted to know if you are doing fine... You haven't been answering to my calls, or Gigi and Jack's ", he struggled to speak, from his voice I could understand he was really worried.

"I'm fine. H-howw are you", I lied, as always. Considering at what state I was, maybe lying was the best thing.
"I... I am good, we're good. How are you really?",he asked again, noticing my unusual loud breathing and as the cracks in my voice no matter how hard I tried to hide them..
"I- I'mmm g-good!", I stuttered, my stomach pain was getting worse.
"Taylor, are you alright?",he asked, even more worried, begging for me to tell him the truth.
"E-Eerrmm... Not r-really... I dont know... j-just a bad stomach aa....a-ache...", I struggled to answer his question.
"Have you taken any meds to ease the pain? Do you know why your stomach hurts?", he questioned me.
"Yes... I-I took a lot of them...", I mumbled and rested my head on my knees.
"What do you mean a lot? Oh my god, is that why your stomach aches?!", Joe was in pure panic. You didn't answer.
"Taylor! please answer me!", he said it loud enough for the guys in the room to hear it.
"I'm sorry... I-I don't know why I did itt!", I whined in frustration. I was barely able to stay awake and Joe was getting on my nerves.
"Listen, Please drink as much water as you can, we will be there as soon as possible!",
"N-noo, you don't have to Joe", I tried to change his mind, but he was too stubborn.
"I don't give a shit, I'm coming!", he stated firmly and hung up...

Shit. I did not expect that.

I tried lifting myself off the floor, to go get some water, but I couldn't even move. I was so exhausted.

Soon I heard vehicle engine sounds outside. They were here.

"Taylor!!!", I heard Joe calling my name behind the door.
"I have the keys, take it!", I heard Selena's voice. Oh no. They were all here.

Moments later I heard doors unlock and Joe burst through the door, together with Gigi, Selena and Jack. Joe crouched in front of me, cupping my cheeks and looking me into my eyes.
"You're going to be alright, okay?", He assured me, while inspecting my pale face.

"I missed you so much!", Gigi said to me, almost through tears as she sat beside me, hugging me. I rested my head on her shoulder, feeling a little guilty.
"I'm sorry", I mumbled, quietly.
"don't apologize, it's alright...", she hummed.

As we all sat there, Jack approached me with a glass of water.
"Drink it. all. Please?", he handed the glass to Joe, who helped me to drink it.

"The medics are here!", Selena informed them, Looking through the window.
"Alright", Jack said, as he asked Gigi and Joe move away from me.

When the medics came in, they checked my vitals and then asked Joe to help carry me over to the stretcher, because they couldn't get the bed inside.

Joe picked me up, gently and carried me outside. There he placed me on the stretcher and as he was going to walk away, I grasped his hand,

"In case I die, I love you and always loved you", I said to him.
"I love you too", he replied softly with a smile, his eyes filled to the brim with tears as some toppled over. He watched the paramedics get me into the car and drive away to the hospital.

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How'd it go?? Do you want a part 2 or just stay wondering what could happen hahaha?

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