Jaylor / Taylor Swift One shots

Insecure I love you's

Taylor Swift is the kind of person who's always changing. She never changed her looks so much that no one would recognize her. She never forgot where she came from. Like most artists, change helped her grow. She didn't want to be known for one thing. It didn't take long for her to fall apart because of their meanness, criticism. Yet they applauded her for the way she pulled herself together, stood up for herself when needed.

The best way to avoid another break down was to delete her social media accounts. Her mental health will thank her for this. She hated keeping her fans in the dark. Waking up to rude and hurtful comments were enough to cause a river of tears if she read the messages. She knew that they were far from true. Society can't be changed. The people will never change there options once they watch the news, or read magazines articles about you.

She shattered into a pile of crumpled up paper that had over a thousand unused lyrics written all over it. She couldn't hold onto the light. Why would it's shine for her?. Was she not worth loving?. After all the songs she's sung about past loves and failed relationships. The number of men she's terrorized once they've listened to her music on the radio.

The comfort of her bedroom kept Taylor safe and sound as vile, repulsive thoughts circled in her head. She should just write down her feelings instead of bottling them up until someone shakes the tin can so much that she explodes. She was in a different world when her mind was being mistreated like this. It was not normal or sane.

Her train of dark thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing off the hook. She must have forgotten to unplug it. Joe Alwyn was calling her. She was surprised when his number blinked across the lock screen.

She didn't want to answer. That's what voicemail is for. She knew that he would not stop calling until she picked up. She got up, and walked to the nightstand, accepted his call. She didn't say anything. Her tongue was stuck to her throat. Joe had a gut instinct that something was wrong with her. She was never this quiet. He hoped that she will open up to him, say what's wrong so he can make her feel better.

"Taylor, tell me what's going on?." Joe's voice is full of worry and concern. He needed to hear her speak just once. He held his breath, kept the speaker close to his ear.

She still couldn't find the words to say what's really bothering her. It's not that she didn't trust him. Her ex lovers never knew when she was upset, hurt, or speechless. She didn't want to cause another war, or start a fight. They called her 'dramatic', 'insane' for exposing her raw emotions.

"I'm a mess." Taylor's voice cracked like nails on a chalkboard. You can hear the soft whimper of tears swallowing every word she spoke. "You're the mess that I want." Joe tried to reassure his tender heart in this sticky situation that required extra time to clean up. He would stay up all night until she was okay. She might prove him wrong, and say whatever he wanted to hear to avoid the problem. He can't sleep if she's not doing well.

"My reputation never been worse."

Joe fingers clutched his cell phone rather tightly. Her words alone drove a knife through his chest. He didn't care about her reputation. He only cares for her as a person. He sees her strength, her charm, her sincerity, her light, her passion, her dream, her kindness, her hard work, her generosity. He accepts her imperfections and flaws.

"You're human. Part of being human is making mistakes and learning from them. It's okay to stumble and fall along the way."

All Taylor ever does is stumble and fall. There's no one there to help her up. She is alone in a guarded tower.  Her prickly wall of thorns cover her entire kingdom. It's the only way to keep out the hurt, pain, heartache. Love never lasts.