Jaylor / Taylor Swift One shots

Soon you'll get better

Taylor moved her hands back and forth pressing them gently into the keys of her worn down piano, cranking out each chord leading up to play "soon you'll get better". This song was always the last in the setlist, the one where she put everything and more she had into it. She'd played it once before live, but after seeing how much her fans connected with it she felt wrong not trying again. Tonight felt different, though. It has been a really tough week for Tayler, and darkness seemed to be creeping back into her life. Her mother was in the hospital and she never liked to perform without her there.

Her mom was always the first to arrive and the last to leave never wanting to miss a single moment but now her absence filled the entire stadium.

As she played the last few notes on the piano he began to break down and she felt the tears sliding down his cheeks. They hit the keyboard with a tiny sound and she couldn't help but feel embarrassed that this was happening in front of a huge audience.

She knew the next part of the show was to walk down the stage and give her goodbye speech but she just couldn't. She looked over at Joe hidden in the wings of the stage, who gave her a concerned look back.

Taylorr leaned up to the microphone, "...I...um, I'm sorry... I.. Thank you everyone have a greatnight I love you..." She said, her short choppy breaths shaking with every word. She gave one last look to the audience and quickly ran off to stage left.

The dancers tried their best to finish the show giving a final performance and disappearing into the floor.

Backstage, Taylor bent over, her sobs shaking her entire body. She felt like a failure. She couldn't even complete the show without her mom. For God's sake, his fans were waiting out there to see her finish and she couldn't even do her job correctly. The black paint from her hands was beginning to get runny as she wiped his tears.

The tv clicked off. She didn't want to see anything. She couldn't deal with that right now and she knew it. The sudden silence was followed by a soft knock, which Taylor recognized immediately.

"Come in."

Joe entered the room quietly. He sat next to her, who was laying the couch while staring at the ceiling. He didn't need to ask how she was doing. He knew the disappointment she would be internalizing. How it feels like hot fire pulling at your chest and how the refreshing salt of tears was, more often than not, the only thing that could cool it. Until it rose again.

All of a sudden she felt a strong pair of arms around her, wrapping her into a big hug. She slowly took her hands away from hierface and wrapped them around her boyfriend. Taylor's tears dripped onto Joe's shoulder.

Joe partially let go to talk to him, "Hey tay... are you alright?"

"Yeah... I... just a hard night..." Tayler replied, "I'm going to be fine."

She was always fine. Always smiling. Always being perfect. Except for those nights that caught up to her. The one's where her entire world came crashing down the blankets seemingly keeping her shattering pieces together.

To Taylor's surprise, Joe pulled her into another hug. " It's okay not to be okay all the time baby. You're allowed to break down." He whispered softly.

His sweet words weren't in fact well received as Taylor shot right up removing herself from his embrace. " No, It's not okay when people are going to be disappointed. It's easy for you to say you're mistakes don't affect millions of people." She said slightly raising her voice becoming more annoyed with every breath. Joe tried to take a hold of her hands but she took a step back trying her best to hide the shaking.

" I- I can't have people hate me again. I have to be perfect." She spoke with a complete absence of emotion as if she were saving it for what came next.

Joe tried being as considerate as possible, but having absolutely no experience with the form of anxiety and perfectionism she felt from growing up In the spotlight. " All of those people love you Taylor why would you ever care what random people put out into the media, you know what true."  He took a short step closer resting a hand on her cheek forcing her to look him in the eye.

Her mouth opened slightly whispering so low he couldn't understand a word.

" I can't hear you darling."

" I said I don't want you to hate me." She whispered finally at audible volume. Her eyes searching his for any form of response. " I care about what they say if you read it, if that's how you start to see me. I never want to loose you. I can't loose anyone else." Tears were steadily pouring out of her eyes. He simply held her rubbing circles into her back as she buried her head into his shoulder. Sobs escaping her body being held up by warm embrace.

He pushed her hair back and whispered into her ear. " I know exactly who you are. I don't ever need someone to tell me how to see my beautiful girlfriend." By this point she'd lifted her head up glossy eyes staring back at her.

" I'm not going anywhere unless you're with me. I promise you have me no matter how many times you feel like you didn't do your best or messed up you will never be a disappointment to me. I love you so much please never forget that." He stroked his thumb over her collarbone trying the best he could to make her comfortable.

She leaned it slowly pressing their lips together softly , but full of emotion as if they were trying to pass their love on to each other. She felt his tears stray down quickly wiping them away. " I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you cry."

He simply shook his head. "It's okay baby, remember were all allowed to fall apart sometimes its no ones fault." He pressed his lips onto her forehead until she pulled away.

" Thank you, I don't know how I would do this all without you. I'm sorry I'm such a mess lately." She cried softly.

" Shh, you have nothing to apologize for. I promise." He held her tightly once more waiting a few moments.

" I miss her so much." Taylor cried into his chest gripping on tighter.

" I know baby let's just try to rest okay. We can stay here until you feel a bit better."

She nodded and snuggled into him on the couch deepening her breaths feeling grateful for her lifeline who always made her feel like the luckiest girl in the world even when she felt like a mess. She knew they loved each other, and somehow that was enough.