His Light

Where am I ?

Lilac's Pov

I woke up in the middle of the night. I guess that it was in the middle of the night, because I couldn't see a thing. Then, I decided to stand up, to find the light switch, but it was hard to walk. My legs felt so weak.

While trying to walk flashbacks of the night before came back floating into my head.

I remembered how Alex or whatever his name was, kidnapped me and how he slapped me. My breathing became ragged as I remembered how his blue ice cold eyes stared into mine as he grabbed my face harder and harder.

I began to cry and scream as the feeling of fear overwhelmed me.

My vision began to become blurry and it got harder to breathe.

Should I run? What should I do?

And then flashbacks of my childhood followed. They were just floating inside my head. I was scared, I was so scared. The darkness didn't help it as my fear just grew.

I was beaten more than once in my orphanage or in high school, I was a freak. Nobody wanted to have to do something with me. I was never loved but I have been nice to everyone, no matter what they did. But still, I was an outsider. I know it's a dark past, but we just try to live right?

I don't give up, I won't. Or am I slowly slipping...

You can try to be the best version of yourself, but there will be every time someone who will hurt you the most. A stranger, a lover or your own damn family.

I couldn't breathe as those memories scared me more and more. I tried to stand up, but I knocked something over and I knew that it was something sharp as I felt blood dripping down my legs. It hurt and the pain seem to worsen.

My legs gave out and I fell onto the floor. The next thing I heard was the door being torn open and this familiar voice, Alex's voice. The voice that made me cower in fear and feel good. I can't explain the feeling I get with him. I don't know. It's just confusing.

"HEY HEY HEY" Alex spoke as black dots began to blur my vision. He was holding me tightly in his strong arms.

But the hands that hold me, would most likely kill me.

"Lilac hey don't close your eyes I'm calling the doctor" but my eyes already began to close.

"LILAC" was the last thing I heard after everything went black...

~~~~
3 hours later

My head was pounding so hard that I didn't even wanted to open my eyes, but that constant beeping sound, whatever it was, annoyed me. So I decided to open my eyes, which was the biggest mistake I have ever made, as bright lights met my eyes.

Where am I?

After my eyes adjusted themselves I looked at my surroundings and realized that it looked like a hospital room. I was wearing a hospital gown and my left leg  was wrapped into a bandage. It  hurt so much. As I tried to sit straight, I saw someone sleeping on the couch in the hospital room. Could my life get worse? I don't know.

"A-Alex?" I asked but there was no response.
Is it Alex or someone else? Where am I?

"IS IT YOU ALEX?" I asked again but this time with a raised voice and tears on my cheeks. His reaction is what scares me the most. I don't know if it's my abusive and horrible past that triggers my fear or the fact that Alex is going to hurt me, or worse kill me.

No one would care that I would be gone. No one would know. I guess that's okay I was never loved. Nobody cares and that's okay. I'm okay. 

I'm going to be okay, dead and alive.