His Light

Being alone

Lilac's Pov

It's been two days since Alex talked to me.

And I was just sitting in my room and reading a book. My wrists were bandaged and cleaned and hurt just a little bit.

After the kiss I couldn't get him out of my head. Did I miss him? Ofcourse not. Why would I?

Everything is fine right. No Alex means no problems.

Suddenly someone was knocking on my door.

"Who is it?" was the only thing I asked.

"Ms. Rose I'm here for the checkup" said doctor Isabella.

She was coming to check on me and my wounds every two days after what happend.

And well what can I say, she's not the type of doctor who's serious with you the whole time. So it doesn't get awkward at all.

Doctor Isabella is kind and tries to lighten up the mood everytime she visits, but sometimes she's just doing her job like today.

"Come in" I told her as she entered my room.

"Hello how are you Ms. Rose?"
"I'm good I-I guess" and yes I was still insecure about being around others, and this explains my stuttering. I don't trust that easily.

"How's your weight? Your eating habits? The wounds on your wrists?Any change?" she was throwing question after question at me. It made me feel scared and overwhelmed so I answered shortly.

"My weight is better, just like my eating habits. And the wounds heal perfectly."

"Okay good. Ms. Rose I will give you an infusion now, just to get the important vitamins in your system to strengthen you. Can you please lay on the bed." I did what she told me and lay down.

She was now taking the needle to attach the infusion to me.

"It will hurt a little bit" was all she said as I felt a stinging. It hurt but it was bearable.

"Okay Ms. Rose I also need to check your blood pressure and then you can continue to rest." was all she said.

After she finished I was finally left alone.

That stupid infusion was attached to me and the bed, so I was not able to stand up and do something.

I was waiting and waiting, just to be able to stand up.

But then the door swung open and there was a tired Alex standing in front of me.

"Lilac you can leave." He told me calmly.

"Why? Why the sudden change of mind?" I asked. I was so irritated by Alex. He was first cold, then nice and cold again. I can't freaking deal with those mood swings.

"There is no reason" he answered. But it felt really weird that he suddenly decided to let me go.

"Okay great, I already had enough of you." I spat at him. He deserves it after everything he put me through.

"The feeling is mutual. And if you want a honest answer here it comes. I let you go because I don't need a fucking pathetic slut around me. You are weak and just annoying.
I don't want to get my hands dirty on some slut like you." As he said this I was already tearing up. I knew that I'm pathetic and weak and Alex telling me all of this, just confirmed those thoughts.

"ROT IN HELL ALEX! I hope I will never see you again." I told him as I rushed outside ripping that stupid infusion off of my arm. I left and didn't dare to look back.

But this heavy feeling in my chest made it hard not to look back. Hoping to see some regret or pain in his eyes.

I hoped that he thought about me differently and not like everyone else.