His Light

You are not just a person

Alex Pov

I was lying next to Lilac while she slept on, actually while she tried to sleep.

She was waking up almost every hour, having nightmares, suddenly being afraid, or just that she cries while stirring in her sleep – if you could call it that.

It hurt me deeply that she was going through this. I wish I would be able to take her pain away or that I'd be able to make our baby girl come back.

I took revenge, a part of it, but why don't I feel satisfied anymore? The rush, the excitement is gone. I feel sad again, knowing that nothing changed with Lilac.

I thought that it would have made things better than this, but in the end of the day it didn't bring our daughter back or the happiness Lilac started to feel.

I have grown to love bringing misery to others, the feeling of blood on my fingers. But the feelings I love seem to slowly turn to a feeling I find odd.

Since Lilac, everything changed, I turn into someone else.

Yesterday killing Damien and his wife and child, was a thing I just did to make him go through the pain Lilac and I had to go through. I couldn't bare his face feeling so carefree, even though we brought him to near death. I had to make him suffer. And the way I did it, was not even enough for what he put Lilac through.

If I have to be psychotic, I will, no matter what happens.

I kill. Every. Single. Person. Who ever tried to hurt my family.

Lilac and our daughter grown so close to my heart, that it felt like they were being ripped apart from me, which sadly happened with our child.

We will never be able to see her grow up, we would only be able to visit her grave, that's it. A simple, yet hardest thing to do.

Children should be carefree, play around, fool around, eat sweets, be a little dramatic, and loving. But children should never die because they don't deserve to.

I know that sometimes things are hard to prevent, but humans with pure hearts deserve the world. And I've been blessed with two. One that just stopped beating after birth, and another that suffered severely.

It's so hard to watch to see someone you love die...my mother and then my own daughter but watching someone you dearly love to want to take her own life, to see her try, breaks them and yourself.

All of sudden Lilac began panting again, stirring around.

I took her gently into my arms, hoping to calm her, but she wouldn't stop.

"Lilac, wake up" I said, shaking her gently.

She began sobbing and sweating, "Lilac, come on wake-" and suddenly she shot up, crying heavily, holding her hand over her chest.

I straightened myself up, turning her face to me, so that she would see that she's with me and not alone.

"Y-You are here?" she asked me, trying to quiet down her sobbing, while tears were streaming down her puffed cheeks.

"Of course, I'm here...come my angel" I said to her, taking Lilac into my arms.

She just hugged me tightly burring her face into my chest, clutching my shirt ever so tightly.

"Lilac, I won't go anywhere, you can relax" I said, but she shook her head into my chest.

"T-There was so much b-blood, Alex" she said, her voice wobbly.

I just began to caress the nape of her neck with my hand, hugging her a little tighter.

"Just a nightmare, angel, just a fucking nightmare that plays with your mind." I told her. But it felt like lying.