His Light

Epilogue

Alex's POV

As I woke up, I turned around to see my beautiful wife, Lilac laying there, sleeping comfortably next to me.

I turned to her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Good morning beautiful" I whispered close in her ear.

And her eyes just fluttered open, her forest green eyes meeting mine, giving me warmth and comfort.

She yawned and passed me a beautiful smile, her beautiful smile.

"Good morning" she said giving me a peck on the lips. Her lips, addiction.

"I just hugged her tighter, beginning to kiss her lips. Tracing tender kisses from her mouth to her neck.

Her beautiful laughter filled the room, bringing joy and happiness. Suddenly she stopped kissing me and just looked at me with full of love and adoration.

She placed one of her hands onto the side of my face caressing my cheek, gently, as I leaned into her touch. She was looking deeply into my eyes.

"Our babies are probably awake already, Alex." she said, still smiling at me.

"You should go get them, I hear Audelia crying" she said, as a single tear left her eyes.

"Why are you crying my love, let's pick them up together, shall we?"

"I'm sorry I can't" she suddenly said, passing me another smile, but a sad one this time.

"What are you talking about angel?" I asked perplexed, looking at her confused.

"Alex...you need to let me go" she said as more tears were falling from her eyes now. What is she talking about, why should I let my love go? Why should I let my wife leave me?

"I love you Alex, don't forget that, but please try to move on without me, try to love another woman" she said, kissing me on my lips, I just gave into the kiss closing my eyes, letting the tears fall as well, it felt like my lungs close up, I couldn't make any sound anymore, I was just feeling the tingling sensation of her lips on mine.

But as I opened my eyes again, Lilac was gone, left a lonely and heavy feeling in my chest. Her warmth and comfort gone, leaving just the aching feeling on my skin that is yearning for her touch.

I began to cry hugging the pillow where she normally slept, shutting my eyes close, trying to remember every single detail of her face, trying desperately to feel her touch again, to smell her scent. But every single thing of her feels like it's vanishing into the darkness. Vanishing into nothingness as if she was never here, except the memories and belongings that are left of her, her clothes, her diary, her tapes, my children...our children.

It's been four years since she died. And every night I get to feel her, I get to touch her, a beautifully vivid feeling. But when I wake up all of her feels faint, it's sometimes so cloudy that I even fear to forget the sound of her voice, and even though I have her videos, I'm afraid just to forget a glint what has to do with Lilac, my angel, my light.

Sleep is now my comfort, because every night, every time I close my eyes I get to see her, but the day is my nightmare, and I just keep going for my kids, for Lilac and the promise I made to her.

Lilac was my Light, but now darkness became my comfort.

She was the one who pulled me out of my darkness, out of my misery, but as I lost her, she pulled me back in.

However, it wasn't the darkness I used to be lost in, it is now the darkness I long to be lost in.

The light she brought into my life, now extinguished with her, leaving me in darkness once more, forever.