His Light

Mission

Alex's Pov:

"Come on, Lilac; please don't be like that" I told her, wanting to get her to eat.

She stopped eating again after I told her that it will be hard to get pregnant.

We went to the doctor and started the treatment a few weeks ago, with fertility drugs which stimulate hormones for ovulation, to increase the chance for a pregnancy.

And when we began the treatment, she started to have an upset stomach not eating anything, and the mood swings that come with the drugs are no help at that.

She's been using the fertility drugs for a few weeks now, and we tried for a child, but the ending wasn't what we hoped for, so it's our second try now, waiting for the ovulation and try.

I'm not the kind who likes to follow strict plans on stuff like that but for Lilac, I don't mind it.

For her, I will go through anything to make it work.

"Lilac, stop looking at your food, love. Try to eat a bit." I told her again, seeing her sitting across from me not eating anything, just playing with the fork.

She just shrugs her shoulders. "Lilac, you need to eat, if you want your treatment to go well."

She looked at me her eyes looking tired.

"Lilac, you know th–" I tried to start but was cut off.

"SHUT UP ALEX" Lilac snapped at me. I just looked at her, lovingly not angry or anything, I know that she feels overwhelmed, this has been going on since we started. The doctor warned us about the process, but Lilac really wanted it. So, there is no other way but through.

"Sorry" she quietly added.

"It's okay, love" I reassured her. But she started crying holding her hands in front of her face, sobbing.

I stood up walking to her side, turning her seat towards me, and crunching down right in front of her, taking her hands in mine. "Lilac, I know how hard it is for you right now, and the medication playing with your moods."

But she sobbed, crying on, unmoving on that chair.

I grabbed her arms gently moving them away from her face.

"Look at me, angel" I said, as her eyes met mine. Her beautiful green eyes, red from the crying.

She wiped her tears away with the sleeves of her sweater.

"I am horrible" she said, looking into my eyes.

"If you are horrible, horrible is my favorite."

"You know what I mean, Alex" she said, chuckling sadly. "I am always so mean to you, while you are supportive and really patient with me."

"Come here, angel" I told her, opening my arms to take her into my embrace, as she just hugged me tightly.

"You know that I love you, Lilac, I love you so much that I would rather die than see you cry. Because I want you to own everything you desire, anything."

She hugged me tighter in response to what I said, which made me smile.

"It's okay when you can't control your emotions or moods because I'm not with you to judge, I am with you to support and love you. You are my light, Lilac, the light who leads me, the light that makes me someone better, more understanding. You are not horrible, and even if you are, I don't want you to be anything else."

"All of this is so exhausting" she confessed. The doctors told us that the process is really tiring and that it needs a lot of support and no high expectations. And it is really taking a toll on her.