His Light

Gone

Lilac's Pov

After I shot that man who tried to hurt me and my baby, I felt so ashamed and full of guilt. I shouldn't but nonetheless I did.

I shot him, but I couldn't even comprehend what was going on. At first I screamed, with the hope that anyone could hear me, but as that man moved closer to me, I run to take my gun which was laying in the drawer of my nightstand, rushing into the bathroom, but before I could even close the door, that man stepped one foot in between the door gap.

And this is when I saw the glint of his knife. I immediately panicked.

"I just want to cut that baby out of your belly, be a good girl and do as you are told" that man had said to me, as I was still trying to get the door closed with all my strength. Everything is still so vivid.

But then what Alex once told me came into my mind.

"Choosing between wounding them and killing them is the hardest, because you have to think everything through and if you don't choose the right thing, you will be the one in danger."

At that moment, when the man had threatened me, I chose to kill him, I moved out of the way, and let that man open the door, but as he came through, I aimed at him, but was so afraid to shoot, that I missed the middle of his chest.

But nonetheless I did shot him, with shaking hands, panicked and sweating.

And as that man had stumbled a few steps backwards, I heard Alex screaming, and after that I don't remember anything.

However, I feel so guilty, that I tried to kill a human being.

What if he has family, children? What if they are waiting for him?

Alex was caressing, my belly, while being busy with his laptop and I really love when he does that, it always calms me down in a way. But Alex is so busy lately, that we spend so little time with each other. It's always the same I sit with him in the same room, on his lap, or do something inside of the mansion, because I shouldn't go outside alone.

"Alex?" I began, pushing him gently away from me and looking into his eyes. "Can we go to our cliff?" I asked. I really wanted to go there, it's been a week or two since we last visited the cliff. And a little bit of distraction wouldn't hurt right?

"I don't know Lilac, after all that has happened." Alex stated, his tone quite serious.

"But that man died Alex, we can go, just for a little bit" I stated, but saw Alex's mood change like in an instant.

"No Lilac, we stay at home. I explained it already" Alex said, demandingly.

"Alex come on, there is no danger, that man died, I just want to spend some time with you outside of the mansion" I said, practically begging. I wanted to enjoy the beautiful weather, to get my mind free and spend some quality time with him.

"LILAC! ENOUGH!" Alex suddenly yelled, making me flinch. "Why are you making it so hard" he huffed.

I just slapped him across the face, for startling me and just stood up from his lap.

As realization hit his face, he started apologizing. How dare he yell at me after everything we've been through? At first he's caring and the next moment he lashes out on somebody, and today I guess I was the lucky one.

"Lilac, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Please don't go." Alex pleaded.

"No, at first you are all caring, cute and lovable, but then you lash out on anyone, with me being the lucky one today." I said, tears threatening to fall down my cheeks.