His Light

I missed this

Lilac's Pov

It's been a few weeks everything turned upside down. I am bound to this wheelchair, and I hate it. Everyone is driving me around, helping me, as if when they would lift a single finger of mine, I would turn into dust.

Alex is always busy, and I probably can guess what he's doing.

He always says that he has to "deal with something". He's always late at home, while I am here bound to a wheelchair, bound to other people helping me.

I really hoped that my pregnancy would pass without any more problems, but that isn't the case.

I also have a lot of nightmares lately, especially when I sleep alone. I can't mend it. Aiden appears in my dream, hurting me and even calling me a murderer.

I am a murderer because I killed someone, not once...Aiden, and a child I never wanted...

I feel sick to my stomach. How was I able I kill somebody, when I couldn't even hurt a bug?

I turned into a monster I was scared of.

However, those passing weeks, I had a lot of checkups, not just once a week, but sometimes even twice or more, because I felt like there was something wrong going on with my body and my baby.

But the doctor has been saying the same things.

"Everything is fine Ms. Rose" or "there is nothing to be worried about, everything looks okay."

That doctor is lying, I feel weird, and I have sometimes small contractions from time to time. But all the doctor says is that all of this is normal after what happened and because of the placenta abruption.

Thankfully my bleeding stopped, ant that is a good sign, however, with the "slight" contractions I feel, I think that there is something we are not aware of.

I have even talked to Alex about this through the phone and all he says is that I worry too much and that he picked the best doctor he could find for me.

But why is everyone talking like they know what kind of pain I feel, the connection and feeling that has grown towards my child could no one understand except me and my baby.

Right now, all I do is sitting on the porch, my legs wrapped up with a blanket, looking over the front yard. And I've been doing this everyday since my release from the hospital.

Rowan is also sitting next to me on a bench because Alex ordered him to look after me while he is gone. Yet, Alex doesn't want Zac to be in my presence after all of the things that have happened.

And I argued with him a lot over the phone about this, but he said that he lost trust in Zac, but I think he's just overreacting, and saddened because he never would have expected a friend, more like a brother to treat me that way, even though he knew how Alex felt towards me. But I often tried to explain him, that Zac acted out of anger and that he really didn't want to treat me like this. But Alex just angrily denied everything. That he had no reason to treat me like that or to yell at me.

Suddenly I felt tapping on my shoulder, I turned my head to the left, looking at Rowan.

"Are you cold? It's a little bit chilly, maybe we should just head inside" Rowan suggested, they were always overprotective, but since I'm going through a risky pregnancy their behavior is unbearable.

"I'm fine" I responded, still watching outside, seeing the leaves of the tree move and the sound of rustling filling the air, it was close to summer, and I love summer. Alex even made someone plant chamomiles around the mansion because they were my favorites.