His Light

Smiling

Alex Pov

Last night Lilac told me that she actually likes me, but how could she like someone like me?

I didn't wanted to be close to her, I couldn't because everything was my fault. That Aiden even raped her was my fault and now she's pregnant. I really feel bad seeing her that way, knowing that I caused it, just made it worse.

Lilac is so innocent, she shouldn't be with a demon that will tear her apart. What if I hurt her, when I get angry? Not even I know the answer to this question. I will just hurt her, I will cause her pain to grow.

She was laying in my arms, as I held her close to my chest, because yesterday she fell asleep hugging me and I couldn't disturb her sleep. I just watched her sleeping figure the whole night, cause I don't sleep; I have to be on alert and ready every time.

She is the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on. So pure like an angel, like water and snow.

Suddenly Lilac began to move and opened her beautiful green eyes. I never thought that I would get lost in a forest, just by looking into her eyes. She was smiling faintly at me, but the smile was not reaching her eyes.

Pain, pain and more pain, was what she had to go through, just because of me.

"Good morning" she said in a sleepy voice. GOD WAS HER VOICE MUSIC TO MY EARS.

"Good morning" I answered kissing her forehead gently.

She just leaned into me, playing with the hem of my shirt.

"You okay?" I asked looking down at her.

"Mhmmm" she only responded. How could someone be so beautiful, by just doing nothing?

And then a knock could be heard on the door of the hospital room.

"Come in." I responded. Then the door opened and the doctor from yesterday, doctor Will entered.

"I'm here to do another checkup, before sending her home" the doctor said.

"Home?" Lilac whispered in a confused tone.

"Yes Lilac, we are going home."

I stood up from behind Lilac, to lay her completely down, so the doctor could do the ultra sound more easily.

Then I saw how Lilac tensed up and I just grabbed her hand to comfort her. Afterwards the doctor began with the ultrasound and we just watched the screen.

"Here is the baby-" the doctor began, pointing on the screen "-and it looks like, that everything is fine." he added.

"I want an abortion" Lilac said looking away and taking her hand that was in between mine. The warmth I felt with her touch; gone.

"Ms. Rose, you should think ab-" but he was cut off by Lilac.

"-NO I WANT THIS THING OUT, THERE IS NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT. I WAS RAPED AND I DON'T WANT IT. I SWEAR IF YOU ASK ME AGAIN, I WILL KILL THIS THING MYSELF." she yelled with teary eyes.

"That's enough Will, if she wants that abortion, she should get it, it's her body, it's hers and no one else's. I tried what you said the first time, but did it work? No it didn't, so don't annoy me with your fucking doctor stuff and do what you are told to do. I fucking pay you."

"Sorry sir." Will said as he left, not daring to look into my eyes.

Then I turned again to Lilac.
"Come on Angel let's get you ready" I took her hand in mine, to gently lift her up.

She was now sitting in bed, but not looking anywhere near me.

So I placed my hand under her chin and lifted her head up, to meet her eyes; beautiful eyes that were red from all the crying.