His Light

Happy

Alex's pov

It was already morning, and Lilac was still sleeping and wrapped up in my arms as we were both laying on the hospital bed. I really like sleeping next to Lilac, because she helps me fall asleep every time, and when she's not next to me, or I feel the need to protect her, I just don't sleep, just like now.

Today Lilac is allowed to leave the hospital, but after the doctor did the ultrasound and the ultrasonography, where we will see the baby for the first time and hear the baby's heartbeat.

I really never thought about having a child or anything, because my father was not the best example, he was a shitty ass father. Never caring about how I feel, or how my mum felt. He was cheating on her, hitting me, being abusive and toxic repeatedly, just like how I ended up. When I did a mistake or when my mum did one, he began hitting her or me in that matter. If one of us acted out of place, he was vicious. I had my first fighting lesson with four years. My first training with knifes with five years, I ended up with cuts and that didn't even stop my father from his so called "training". I also had my first lesson with using a gun, when I was seven years old, where I got my first bullet wound. Guess who pulled the trigger, yes, my own fucking father did.

I'm scared, I am fucking scared to have a child, but Lilac wants it. And I won't keep her from her choice. I will help her through it, because it took two people, us, to make our baby.

But I don't want to turn into my father, I don't want to end up hurting my own child. The mafia is way too dangerous, for Lilac, for my child. My child...how weird that sounds.

I pulled Lilac into this world, because I didn't wanted to let her go. She is my light, what would I do without my light in the darkness.

She's everything to me, and I would burn the whole world down for a single drop of tear she sheds.

But now, a baby, my child, our child is growing. And this baby is going to be pulled into the dangers not even needed to be born, as a heir to the biggest mafia in the US, the Dalton mafia. And everything is my fault, I should have been more careful.

What about the normal childhood of our baby? I am going to take it away, smashing it into pieces. I am already the worst father, but I can't tell it Lilac. How do people apologize for that, sorry for destroying our child's future.

"Baby" Lilac mumbled with a raspy voice, placing a soft and gentle kiss on my chest, holding onto my slightly unbuttoned shirt.

"Good morning" I said, placing a kiss on the top of her head, pulling her closer into my chest.

I promise you Lilac, I will protect you and my child, till I die, till I take my last breath. And even when I die, I ought to protect you both.

I will kill everyone who dares to lay a finger on you two, even if it means that I have to kill myself.

"Alex, can we go home now? I don't like being here" Lilac said, stretching and yawning, discomfort audible in her voice, pressing her head more into my chest.

She hates hospitals, she always hated them.

"It's okay" I said, caressing her soft and silky hair, running my fingers through it. "After the checkup of the baby we will leave, don't worry, my love."

"Mhm" she muttered, wrapping her arms tightly around me.

At night, when Lilac was asleep, Rowan came in, to give me some updates on our mansion.

He said that there was no trace of the silhouette we caught in the cameras. But that doesn't matter to me, it was there and it could come back. Who ever that was, wants something, so our security stays tripled in the mansion, and especially while Lilac is pregnant.