Desires and Secrets

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JJ POV.. Omg I cried when Spence spoke those dreadful words... I didn't even think that binding him to a chair would bring  the Tobias flash backs... I never forgave myself for splitting up with Spence on that case.. He was kidnapped, abused, drugged tortured and he died in front of us.. then was brought back to life in front on us. Looking into his eyes now, I could see that fear, that pain, that lost look.. He wasn't faking, the tears were real.. Spence I said walking to him kneeling down, I never want you to feel the way you felt back then.. But I can't let you go bc you will leave me I said looking directly into his eyes... JJ he said still crying, just let me out this chair, please.. I thought and thought some more... Spence will it be better if I sat you on the couch? I can't uncuff you yet, I'm sorry I said... Just get me out this chair he begged... ok Spence but if you try anything, I swear I'm shooting her, I said nodding at Michelle.. I won't he promised... I nodded...I uncuffed the two cuffs on his wrist leaving just one...I undone his feet and lead him to the couch... You want to lay down or sit I asked? I'll sit he said smiling slightly..I sat him down and recuffed his ankels...I wasn't worried about him getting loose with his wrist been bonded binded tightly.. We sat in silence and then he asked,JJ why are you doing this?