Jaya Oneshots (Requests Open)

Final Goodbye

*I know that I said that I wasn't doing any more Season 15 oneshots, but I got a lot of requests for them, and this was one of them. This was something that I wrote with my boyfriend, so I guess it kind of fits with the requests? I don't know. Let's just get on with the story. 

WARNING: This one is just basically an angst fest. I promise that next oneshot will be a lot happier.

A twisted expression.

A lonely, twisted expression.

There was no joy behind those simple gestures anymore.

He was alone.

She left him.

He didn't even get to say goodbye.

Goodbye to the love of his life.

She had to save him again.

It cost her life.

He killed her.

This was all his fault.

The walls echoed and groaned. The wind was cold, just as it had been every single day since her departure. The breaths barely left his lips as he continued to look at the wall. He tried to find the inconsistencies with in it. Their were little cracks that traveled in random little patterns and he swore that there were other random splotches of color.

Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him. That's all that they seemed to do lately. Sometimes, he would wake up and start talking to the person laying beside him only to realize that she was gone. That she never returned, that she never would. Those were often the days where he couldn't hold it in anymore. The days where he would cry and yell and punch the wall beside him until his fist started bleeding.

He could never reach acceptance. It was something that his therapist was trying so hard to get him to in his grief. He couldn't get it to. Blame. Anger. Betrayal. Sadness. Guilt. Understanding. Blame. Anger. Betrayal. Sadness. Guilt. Understanding. Blame. He could never reach full circle. He could never reach acceptance. How could he?

He honestly felt bad for him. He didn't even know what was happening to him most days due to how random the cycles happened. Jay could barely keep track of it as is. Therapy was supposed to help, and yet it made him feel worse. Jay knew the truth, the truth that everyone seemed to avoid. If he didn't drown, she would be here smiling.

No.

If she didn't feel like she needed to save him, she would be right here. If she didn't feel obligated, she would be here and he wouldn't, and everything would be okay. All of the others would be happy. He would be happy. She would be happy.

The voices whisper below him.

They're so quiet, and yet so loud.

He couldn't block it out even if he tried. 

They were all concerned about Kai.

Kai, who disappeared for long periods of time.

Kai, who when he came back, looked even more fragile than the time before.

They didn't see him. 

He wasn't even there. 

They didn't see him slowly breaking. 

Why would they? 

Nya was the only one who could read what he was actually feeling.