so i had a request from roses_and_blood1, they said, "I want one of drarry in detention and the lights go out or something. Then one has a panic attack (doesn't matter which) and the rest is up to you."
so here you go, hogwarts fifth year, ptsd, anxiety, implied rape, abusive dursleys, angst, hurt comfort, happy ending, traumatised harry, sad harry, protective draco, good but dark draco, good severus
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Harry hummed a Muggle song he heard on the wireless under his breath as he was on his way to have dinner in the kitchen, not for the first time without Ron and Hermione. Ever since he returned for his Fifth Year of Hogwarts, often would people see him on his own without his best friends. It was odd and a rumour of them not being friends anymore started to spread. Well, the truth behind the rumour was just that: a rumour. He loved their company, so don't get him wrong. It was just that he needed some time alone to think about some things about himself, about his upcoming battle with Voldemort, and so on. And the fact that Cho Chang just kissed him while she was in tears was something to think about too.
So, Harry took the time to hang out with himself. Just a "Me, Myself and I" time.
Before he had to go for detention with Snape anyway.
He figured just a few months ago that he would be bisexual because he had figured out (which was a very painfully slow process) that he was attracted to Cedric Diggory as well as Cho Chang. That, and the fact that he had thought Draco Malfoy was hot when they went to the Quidditch Cup last year. Which made him so close to bleach his brain for that thought. He had a hard and long conversation with Ginny, who didn't seem very upset about it despite having a crush on him. In fact, she looked genuinely happy for his discovery, much to his relief. He wanted to talk to Ron and Hermione but he wasn't sure how opened Ron was about these kinds of things and he definitely didn't want to be some sort of project for Hermione.
What happened to him last year was still a sore topic for him. The death of Cedric Diggory and Voldemort's return was still fresh in his mind. The fact that the Ministry tried to cover it up by saying he was lying and Umbridge's grasp on Hogwarts wasn't all that soothing either. It felt like Cedric's death was for nothing. He yearned for the time where he didn't have to think about war and stuff but now he had to, for the sake of everyone's lives. It sucked but he knew he couldn't change anything from the past even if he could without changing the future. This would be his life and he just had to accept it even if he didn't like it. This life chose him. He didn't get to choose the life he wanted. I just have to make do, Harry thought as he tickled the pear and stepped inside the kitchen with a small smile.
"Harry Potter, sir! How can Dobby help you, Harry Potter?" the house-elf greeted brightly as he usually would. Harry smiled at him and sat down with a sigh. "Could you get some dinner for me? I don't want to eat at the Great Hall tonight. I don't feel like surrounding myself with a lot of people." Dobby's ears flapped as he bowed at him. "Harry Potter's wish is Dobby's command." With that, he vanished off to prepare his dinner. It didn't take long for Dobby to come back. He placed the plates and a goblet of pumpkin juice in front of him. "Enjoy your meal, Harry Potter sir!" Dobby grinned and Harry nodded in thanks, grinning right back at him.
Casting a quick Tempus, it showed that his detention with Professor Snape was in a few minutes and he quickly finished off his dinner, thanking the house-elves for his food and left the house in a hurry. He pursed his lips, remembering how he landed himself into detention again and the odd thing happened after that.
* * *
Harry slammed the door opened, panting harshly under his breath, knowing that he was in trouble the moment he saw the look on Professor Snape's face. "Glad you could finally join us, Mr Potter. This is the third time you came late to my class this week," Professor Snape sneered at him, looking at him as if he was dirt under his shoes. "Detention with me after dinner and 20 points from Gryffindor for rudely slamming my classroom door." His classmates groaned and some of them glared at Harry for causing them to lose House Points as if that's the biggest problem of the year. He rolled his eyes and took an empty seat next to Malfoy, seeing as he was without a partner for today's potion-making.
